That is a very great grief that nobody knows but Julian. So I am going.
I went to see Julian and we talked for a long time, seriously. He says I am doing a foolish thing by going to Russia. "The doctors send you to the...
Maman gave Tony a kind of astrakhan dressing-gown — we put it on him for a moment. These good people had never seen my arms, so I showed off with arm...
It appears he is a painter as Ingres was a violinist...
My father and Maman think it is what Potain said that distresses me, and I cannot confess the truth. But I weep properly — no contortions, no sobs,...
This morning I finished the portrait of little Mlle Maurel. Villevieille was there, her mother came, my family and Alexis. Then in the afternoon came...
One cannot conceive of my vexations. They talk of illness until their throats are bone dry — everyone offers an opinion. Maman says that Mont-Dore...
The bell rings — we run to the carriage. No tickets had been taken for me and they climb into an ordinary compartment (which I would never do) — I...
I am an idiot! Oelsnitz weeps and begs me to stay, believing the journey would be my tomb, and that the terrible M. Bashkirtseff would keep me there.
I believe the state I am in has at last achieved the miracle of making them all understand that my complaints were not the caprices of a spoiled...
Gabriel is with us the whole time. He had brought yesterday an invitation from Mme d'Aubigny, wife of the French embassy secretary — but as we did...
Paul and Alexandre came alone to meet us, and no rooms had even been reserved at the hotel, as they assumed we would go straight to the country...
Had I stayed in Paris I would have wept at not being here. Here I am — well and good. Besides, I am very pale, barely touched with rose, eyes...
The weather is fine, the lilacs in bloom, spring adorable — but too cool for my wretched body.
No one was invited, as I wished — but company came all the same. M. Oustimovitch, Marshal of the Nobility; Alexandre and his young son Etienne; MM....
I wrote to my aunt, to Oelsnitz, to the Princess, to Gavini, to Saint-Amand.
Is it not atrocious enough. To say nothing of the father, who is eighty-five, and the mother — whom poor Tony so feared to lose. And M. Georges...
I am out of doors all day and make studies — the weather is very fine. I cannot imagine that this man, still so young, can die... and yet he had...
At the same time as the telegram, a letter arrives from Julian bearing the good news.
— w that I shoot very well, without ever practising. Extraordinary woman. Then a walk through the deserted streets, stopping in at Nini's sister's,...
I paint — the others come to chat or play cards nearby. In short... my father irritates me. I do not know why I think of my journey five years ago,...
We have been in the country — [*words blacked out: for*] weeks, for three weeks now — and I speak to her every day about the matter, repeating that I...
Paul and Nini have gone to the villa (a property belonging to Maman, five hours by carriage from here) and Monsieur et Madame are in Poltava. We are...
My two uncles Etienne and Wladimir are here. Wladimir has a very amusing talent for imitation.
It is about my departure, which no one appears to believe in.
The Princess is indignant in her customary paternal way — heaven has given me everything, she says, and I am not happy.
And even if he were poor, there might be some excuse.
sulkings, everyone either avoids one another or quarrels... Maman is very worked up against Paul — in some degree even hateful toward him. It is that...
After a thousand disputes, a decision is reached. You cannot imagine — it is a whole undertaking! But why go? And perhaps it would be better not to...
So we lunch at Alexandre's and get drunk. They cannot do without it here — I am horrified. Ah! I want to leave — everything is disgusting here! Oh!...
Then the family — we are fourteen.
Paul is almost always sullen; his wife is indifferent in the satisfaction of having achieved her goal. She is married — that is all the girls here...
I have shared my reflections on the newlyweds with the newlyweds themselves, and they already look rather nicer — I assure you.
in his eyes, and that he will appreciate the very real charms (without double meaning) of Dina, who is delightful — with hair as golden as wheat and...
the others — that everyone should go on to Sourny, where we are at this moment. Pacha has put on weight, but is still the same unsociable creature —...
When sufficient letters had accumulated — and especially of a content such as Alexandre desired — he came and showed them to Tolkatch, who tore out...
The abuse and the brigandage are unimaginable! They had concealed the copies of the contracts and deeds made by Romanoff [*crossed out: at the same...
Alexandre proposes a deal to me. He will sell one of the estates for two hundred thousand roubles, and whatever extra he gets will be his. The rents...
The cathedrals and monasteries are in considerable number — indeed there are three, four in a row. All of it with a great, great many gilded domes,...
My father and he address each other as *tu* — Paskevitch having contracted hemorrhagic smallpox eight years ago and my father having nursed him...
Briefly, from one to five o'clock and beyond I regretted not being able to realise this dream — for I cannot. What would they say back in Russia, and...
She has already sold three or four works. There — she is launched. And I?
So I went this morning, heavily veiled, and for a fee was admitted despite the fact that he only receives in the afternoon. For some time now I have...
Well... As for my painting, he says he did not encourage me before, having had no confidence, thinking it an unfortunate infatuation — but now! My...
Saint Amand and Villevieille around three o'clock. I went with the latter to look for a small garden in Passy; on our return, père Géry comes to call...
Around five o'clock that monster Julian finally arrives — he had always been going to come. But the whole thing turns out God knows how — my aunt was...
The staging is perfect, the costumes admirable in their faithfulness and harmony, and Mounet-Sully, utterly wrong as a man of the world, is splendid...
But the wickedest of men would not be more relentless! And I am tortured at every instant — blushing before my own family, feeling their...
The truth is that I have only twenty days left — and what if it rains?
It is odious — I can do nothing!
Indeed I dislike my models. And then I picture the canvas exhibited on the boulevard just after the elections... And then it is such an unfeminine...
Now I give up the painting — yes, that is final. But what time wasted!! More than a month.
Cerny is a decent enough sort — though I think her mad. She understands nothing or little, and asks you questions that make you drop from the sky —...
We are fourteen, and we vote for the expulsion of Commandant d'Epailly and Mademoiselle Drouin, who have slandered and harassed Hubertine. It is...