Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Saturday, 21 May 1881

Yet another day of being pulled apart!

Encore une journée de tiraillements et de déchirements !

This morning I finished the portrait of little Mlle Maurel. Villevieille was there, her mother came, my family and Alexis. Then in the afternoon came the Princess and Mme Gavini — everyone weighs in — we go to see an alienist1 I believe, who orders me to take the waters at Karlsbad.2 In the end all of this concludes with an evening at the circus, to which I go very elegantly turned out, because we are cited in Le Voltaire3 among the most elegant society women. I am called very pretty "and very elegant" and my father is named Marshal of the Nobility in Russia.

Ce matin j'ai fini le portrait de la petite Maurel, Villevieille était là, sa mère est venue, ma famille et Alexis. Puis l'après-midi vient la princesse et Mme Gavini, tout le monde s'en mêle, on va chez un médecin aliéniste je crois qui m'ordonne les eaux de Karlsbad II!! Enfin tout ça finit par une soirée au cirque où je vais très chic parce que on nous cite dans le "Voltaire" parmi les femmes du monde les plus élégantes. Je suis appellée très jolie "et très élégante" et on nomme mon père maréchal de la noblesse en Russie.

Both Karageorgevitches are with us, and then Kireyewsky, the Gavinis, etc., etc.

Les deux Karageorevitch sont avec nous et puis Kireyewsky, les Gavini etc. etc.

Ah — during the day I went to Tony's, where I found Beaumetz4 the painter — you will remember him, Caillas's friend. We talked, and they tried to give me encouragement and assure me that I am doing very well in painting, that I need only continue as I am going, etc., etc. They are right — but they do not understand how pressed I am... all of this, you see... In short.

Ah ! dans le jour j'ai été chez Tony où j'ai trouvé Beaumetz, le peintre vous vous rappelez, l'ami de Caillas. Donc nous avons causé et ils ont taché de me donner du courage et de m'assurer que je vais très bien en peinture, que je n'ai qu'à continuer comme je vais etc. etc. Ils ont raison, mais ils ne comprennent pas à quel point je suis pressée... tout ça voyez-vous... Enfin.

Notes

Médecin aliéniste: a physician specialising in mental illness — what would now be called a psychiatrist. The word "aliéniste" reflects 19th-century terminology for doctors who treated those considered mentally alienated. The irony of the consultation is not lost on Marie. ↩
Karlsbad (now Karlovy Vary, Czech Republic): one of the most fashionable European spa destinations, whose alkaline waters were prescribed for digestive, liver, and constitutional ailments. Ordering the waters there alongside her pulmonary doctors' recommendations reflects the scattershot medical advice Marie is receiving. ↩
Le Voltaire: a republican, anticlerical Paris daily that covered society events and the arts. Being cited in its columns among elegant women was a mark of social visibility. ↩
Beaumetz: likely Charles-Aimé Beaumetz (1845–1888), a French painter and politician, later Under-Secretary for Fine Arts. ↩