Notebook 101

August 1883 — October 1883

56 entries 19,773 words 56 translated

Main location: Paris

Read from the beginning

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(429 words)

I am reading Stendhal's histories of painting. This intelligent man is always in agreement with me, yet it seems to me that he looks for too much...

(1,755 words)

To follow Stendhal's precepts — to be charming, to make him feel he is not God without wounding him — and then the vexation of knowing it is his...

(585 words)

The model arrives and I take a hundred measurements — but my composition is correct! Where were your eyes, Jules?

(911 words)

That is to say — here it is. I have identified what that feeling of the other evening was. I have felt it before, in London, in Italy, at the Louvre....

(914 words)

I had almost given up the idea of sending something… I no longer thought of it…

(526 words)

And stupid, like all my misfortunes. I was going to send my picture to the Triennial on the 20th of August, the final deadline — but it is not the...

(436 words)

No one believes in my timidity — yet it is explained by excess of pride. I have a horror, a terror, a despair of asking; it must be offered… In a...

(438 words)

It appears Maman wrote her something disagreeable.

(146 words)

My voice, my voice, my voice! Certainly. It is the talent I desire most, for one reaps one's glory immediately, and it is intoxicating. Nothing...

(741 words)

If you knew how vile it is… He studies my quirks and conforms to them.

(527 words)

Julian writes to me — he thinks I have been rejected. The fool.

(967 words)

My aunt, Dina, myself, the Marshal, the Maréchale, Claire, Louis who is eleven, and the brother of seventeen who is on holiday. They are all charming...

(140 words)

I gave my *Fisherman with a Line* to the Ischia lottery; the lots are exhibited at Petit's on the rue de Sèze — the fashionable, modern, Wolff-iste...

(560 words)

I am very pretty this evening. And when there is someone I wish to please, I am ugly.

(413 words)

I shall never grow accustomed to it — and at my age, a young woman… it is monstrous.

(80 words)

The strong sex goes its own way, and we feeble women go to the château. I retain today only the Napoleonic battles, the splendours of this greatest...

(80 words)

Then a small family drama — Marcel slips off to Paris without permission. He is a future Marquis de Tarente, resembles him, wants to do nothing, and...

(12 words)

I work only on Louis's portrait. They are keeping me until Sunday.

(291 words)

One is foolish, and does it all the same; one has a corset too long that chafes, a riding habit from three years ago that has not taken one's shape...

(23 words)

He has just punished twenty thousand people at Batavia. And God… And God…

(107 words)

Conversations about art, as always every evening — but tonight there is more genuine intimacy, and above all I am thinking about my painting; it will...

(13 words)

Furthermore received at the Orléans princes'… Very beautiful, very tall, and very wise.

(122 words)

My room at Jouy will be occupied by the Maréchale's mother, who is coming to spend six weeks there. But so that I may still come during her stay,...

(40 words)

Madame Bogdanoff has come because people are saying that I am to marry General Fleury's son, and she wanted to find out whether it was true. They...

(222 words)

Well — may God's will be done. The phrase comes to me mechanically and I almost mean it.

(522 words)

Since I have not seen the Bastiens, it is difficult for me to speak of painting.

(257 words)

He has a small painting entitled *Les Blés mûrs* — a man seen from behind, reaping. That painting is fine.

(167 words)

And amid so much misery, I am relatively happy. I learn that Géry and the princess are downstairs, and I send word that my migraine is improving and...

(143 words)

Through them I shall have every facility for making the painting I have dreamed of at Jouy.

(565 words)

Madame Basilewsky is enormously rich — she is seventy-one years old and the Metropolitan is eighty-four; his name is Isidore.

(161 words)

Per my instructions, Bojidar has sent my letter to Saint-Marceaux, having removed the signature and anything relating to Bastien, and has sent me...

(381 words)

That is the point he cannot get past. And it is what I persist in demanding he explain to me.

(16 words)

My painting drags on! It is…

(41 words)

The priest to dinner; I amuse myself recounting scenes from life in Poltava, and as Paul feels the barbs, he slips away after dinner.

(872 words)

But all of this wearies me, and the idea of painting near Paris disgusts me — there are no horizons vast enough. I shall go to Brittany, I think.

(171 words)

He has sworn on his children's heads not to cheat.

(160 words)

In short, everything is going badly — everything, everything, everything! There is…

(81 words)

The King of Spain, arrived on an official visit, has been booed, whistled at, insulted, threatened by the crowd. Grévy has been rather dishonest. And...

(698 words)

About spoke rather quietly and I heard little; Renan — whom I see now through the lens of Saint-Marceaux's bust — was very good, and the final...

(117 words)

Julian says that Concarneau is madness at this season.

(4 words)
(1,046 words)

Enfin voici ce qu'il dit du tableau, il est bien, très bien, il y a des morceaux excessivement bien Qe cite les mots mêmes) des morceaux comme je...

(295 words)

"Really, Mademoiselle — how dare you confess to such flat superstitions!" Why flat? Napoleon and Caesar were superstitious — to cite only those two...

(190 words)

Otherwise it would be a pity. Let it rest, and then in the spring allow yourself the pleasure of executing certain passages in such a way that there...

(671 words)

To me it seems charming. He is leaning on the balcony railing, the body almost full-face and the head in profile against the sky; one sees the...

(1,060 words)

Instead of a [Crossed out: cigarette, Bojidar] will hold between his fingers a nasturtium branch that he will have torn from the balcony. He does not...

(567 words)

Recently she and Maman swore to me that everything was finished — thanks to some arrangement or other, and on account of the coronation. It ought to...

(450 words)

I get home just in time to dress. There is a small dinner this evening.

(660 words)

I am always arguing to the death with Gavini, who fancies himself a connoisseur, who pronounces sweeping judgments — and who, little by little,...