Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Sunday, 7 October 1883

I have seen the new moon… with my left eye, and I am saddened by it.
"Really, Mademoiselle — how dare you confess to such flat superstitions!" Why flat? Napoleon and Caesar were superstitious — to cite only those two most illustrious examples.
Saint-Amand dines here, and the princess and Bojidar, since he has posed all day.
Madame Gavini came yesterday, and the baroness.
I no longer draw Bastien's profile on every occasion in pen and pencil — I think of him only as a painter now.
This evening, after careful reflection, I declare flatly that he will never be in love with me. Let us set that preoccupation aside. Never. I am at peace. But what a pity, my God!
chez de fausses princesses et des étrangères équivoques, tranche, discute, tape sur les personnages les plus connus et commet mille maladresses très naïves. Encore s'il fréquentait des salons de 2ème ordre parce qu'on y trouve à s'amuser, ça ne serait pas un mal, mais c'est que je le crois un peu... Saint-Amand, il a été élevé comme une fille, il est économe, serré. I am trying to civilize Bojidar, who is entirely untamed. He knows nothing of the real world, wastes himself God knows where — among false princesses and dubious foreign women — lays down the law, argues, attacks the most well-known figures, and commits a thousand naïve blunders. If at least he frequented second-rate drawing rooms because one can amuse oneself there, that would not be so bad; but I suspect he is a little… Saint-Amand — he was raised like a girl; he is economical, tight-fisted.
And besides, he [is spiteful] and talks a great deal about kept women, though never… I do not know why I imagine that… Besides, with Irma it went no further because, she said, Bojidar admitted to her he hadn't a sou.