And even in painting! Breslau knows artists, visits the great painters, sees their ateliers; whilst I! At the atelier everyone assumes I move in...
Well, I am having wild fun as usual. The whole Sunday passes at the theatre. A matinée at the Gaîté, rather dismal, and in the evening at the Opéra...
After that all-night vigil I could not wake until half past eleven. The competition was judged this morning by all three masters together: Lefebvre,...
I would like to die..
Except for a few, the evening students are not the same as the day ones. I was warmly congratulated. It was a good moment all the same... come and...
If I were sixteen I would be the happiest woman on earth.
I have once again instigated, sustained, and calmed a studio revolt, after which I went to tell the whole story to Julian "so that the facts would...
At the Gavinis' we make the acquaintance of Monsieur and Madame Randouin, and then we go to the Bois with Mme Gavini, who is always the same, and who...
I am already thinking about the invitations we shall send for Saturday the 25th... On the 27th it will be exactly seven months since Cassagnac...
I agreed to dine at Mouzay's on condition of leaving at eight and being the only guest besides my aunt.
I called on Mouzay, still with an eye to Saturday. I had the annoyance of hearing that old fool (and here I declare loudly that I withdraw all the...
Here are the charming invitations which, copied out by a public letter-writer, were sent.
I am young, I am fresh, and I am buried!
Here is a collection of newspapers — *L'Indiscret* by Ulysse Pic, which recounts Cassagnac's slappings.
All day long I think of a blue sea, white sails, a sky all of light...
This evening at dinner we were talking of entertaining, of going into society... Paul urges me to marry, and I reply that my mothers are waiting for...
I may go to Naples for a fortnight with Paul. Princess Eristoff and her sister Gorpintchenko are there. I am stupefied, brutalised, lost — it may...
I went to the Gavinis'. They did not seem their usual selves, and now that I am home I feel like smashing my head in..
Cassagnac is elected but has only a majority of 990 votes; at the last elections in 1877 he had a majority of 4,131. Which gives one reason to hope...
This evening the model failed to appear. I posed myself, and while I was on the stand Julian arrived and we talked politics. I enjoy talking with...
So. We went to Versailles. Gambetta's first day as President of the Chamber. His speech, which he read aloud, was received with enthusiasm — and had...
I am in a stupid, causeless anxiety. It is really not permissible to be so foolish.
My painting is going: much, much better — keep this study; it is the beginning of progress. I am pleased; it is going well, much better.
I was in the mood — we went to the Opera. I had given myself an enormous bosom and adopted Baron's voice from the Variétés. It was rather funny...
This evening Mme Gavini takes me to the Opéra Comique to hear Mademoiselle Bilbaut-Vauchelet, who is quite a star at this moment.
The blue salon is nearly finished.
Young Karageorgevitch came yesterday and I entrusted him with buying me some decorative vases — he has taste.
In the whole world there is only one man: Alexandre Dumas père and fils. Everything else is rubbish.
Yesterday and today I have had dreams that made a rather curious impression on me.
In the afternoon I do Paul's portrait.
I read the newspapers; I know everything that is happening. I want to attend the receptions and the Academy sessions and who knows what else. And...
I must do something to distract myself. I say this with that stupid impulse one has to imitate what one reads in books.
Well! I am in Nice! I wanted to take an air bath, to flood myself with light, and to hear the sound of the waves. Do you love the sea? I am mad about...
What a difference from Paris! Here I wake of my own accord; the windows are open all night. The room I occupy is the one where we used to take our...
Dourassoff is here, as you know, and on very friendly terms with my family — which causes me worries and irritations.
At the London House one sees Des Perrières.
We celebrated Carnival all day long. We were completely disguised, and I amused myself greatly accosting everyone during the two hours of the...
It appears that the Condom election is null. Some registration or other was omitted... if it is truly annulled he will not win again. But I think...
At the London House, Paul saw Des Perrières and the Comte Scotti, who advised him to write a letter. For here is the situation. If nothing came of it...
I dreamed that Cassagnac, having come to visit us, burned up entirely like the carnival effigy last Tuesday. I was quite perplexed and did not know...
This is a day that has aged me. Paul went to the prosecutor and to the commissioner. The Tutcheffs have filed a complaint against the Babanine family...
I left yesterday at noon. The weather was superb and I nearly shed real tears leaving this delightful and incomparable place. From my window I saw...
I went to see Madame Gavini and we went out together; she paid a few calls while I read the newspapers in the carriage.
To escape I read all day, which tired me. My aunt has bought Meissen china in my absence; the blue salon will be filled with it.
Well — I am doing a still life. But yesterday's ideas... I recall a letter from Marcuard in which he told me: This winter we have a young Polish girl...
Collignon, back at her parents' home, came to see us; I kept her the whole day and talked the whole time — one must make up for things somehow. Only...
I tried to model in clay, but I have never seen how it is done and know nothing about it.
Do you know, writing is a great consolation.
I arrived five minutes early and worked hard... not too hard; I had to make up for the fortnight spent away. I am sorry you could not have been...
Madame Gavini came. Her husband has no tickets for tomorrow, so I asked Rouher for some, writing him a word on my card. But it is too late; he...
I kept Paul back again, and after the atelier we went to the theatre; I brought two Swedish girls from the atelier with me.
Paul has just left in spite of me; I lost my temper and declared that he would not leave; he gave me his word of honour to the contrary; I was...
If Robert-Fleury — known as Tony in his absence — scolds me today, I give up painting! You know how much envy, and above all how much disparagement,...
Coco, dead — crushed by a cart in front of the door.
I dreamed again of the apartment of Monsieur and Madame Paul de Acard.
An outing with the Gavinis. Monsieur Gavini sends tickets for tomorrow — and I write the following letter.
Without seeking it, I am to witness the Cassagnac affair! His election is to be confirmed. We miss the parliamentary train by an hour; there is one...
I amuse myself telling the studio that I have seen a man — truly beautiful — a "bronze"!!
The background and the hair are a fine tone — on the whole it is coming along, it is more painterly — carry on, etc.
With my usual wisdom I set to painting at half past five. I had thirty minutes of daylight left, which allowed me to sketch myself on a size-4...
We were to go to Versailles, but Gavini sends word that the session will not be interesting.
The Basilewskys dine at our home, but Madame Gavini arrived like a bombshell at four o'clock, swept up my aunt, and rushed to the studio to tell me I...
Comte Valéry, senator and director of some steamship company or other, has died suddenly in Florence. Gavini, who is related to him, went there...
Madame Gavini came. Do you know — Cassagnac has been married nine months.
Mademoiselle Oelsnitz went with my card to Gambetta, who sends tickets back. But let us first say that the painting is going well — it is beginning...
We went to fetch Madame Gavini for a drive in the Bois.
After the atelier we go to Madame Gavini's dressmaker, where we find her. My aunt has been to the Basilewskys', where she saw the Linsingen woman —...
To begin with, I announced at the atelier that someone had fired at Gambetta. It took. And then I told them that a beam or a cornice had fallen at...
After all, life is good — I sing and dance when I am quite alone, for complete solitude is a great pleasure. But what a torment when it is disturbed...
Maman and Dina have arrived.
Robert-Fleury is ill — he barely gave critiques; besides, what I had done was nothing much.
I have a little morning hat so perfectly proper that I have no fear of going quite alone to spend my morning at the Louvre. But as this hat, while...
I worked until two o'clock; at two I rushed home, dressed, and Madame Gavini, Dina, and I went to the horse show at the Palais de l'Industrie. I have...
We go to see *La Dame de Montsoreau* at the Porte Saint-Martin.
Maman met him today, quite alone, as usual since his marriage; he greeted her very amiably. Old beast — perhaps he thinks of me as I think of Multedo.
This evening the Passion, and we go to church. I do my hair in a plait, with a little black straw hat, quite unadorned, which looks like a Marguerite...
At three o'clock to church — it is Good Friday — and I overcome my fear of people to go; I must be seen at church, otherwise they will say that I am...
I finished sitting at eleven in the morning. The portrait is ugly and not a likeness. Afterwards we lunch at Karageorgevitch's. There are...
Julian came in announcing the death of our Emperor, and I was so struck by it that I cannot understand it at all. Everyone stood up to look at me: I...
I find Berthe at home, and in the evening we arrange the books with Bojidar, whom I call imbecile, idiot, etc. — with which he is very pleased.
You may think the ice is broken — not at all.
I was looking for an Empire or Directoire hairstyle, which led me to read the article on Madame Récamier — and naturally I am crushed at the thought...
Yesterday I was bored — I hardly know where; at the horse show, I think, and then on the promenade.
Last day of the show — quite lively. Madame Gavini comes to collect me at four o'clock, we go to fetch the Vicomtesse Pernety and make our way there....
I am just back from the Vaudeville. (My evenings are quite free — the evening courses have stopped.) A society play — amusing, *topical.*
Henceforth we shall do composition exercises like those downstairs. We shall be given the same subject as the men below. The ball is on Friday — my...
They bring me the Laferrière gown, which is elaborate, new, and ugly. In a few hours I have another arranged for me at Savarre's — not even a proper...