The princess sent some smoked meat or other from Serbia of a prodigious appearance, so that de Daillens asks whether it is not a preserved ancestor,...
Looking through my writings, I wonder how I can live buried like this after having been in Nice, in Italy, at the theatres, on the promenade, in the...
He speaks of his wife as of a beloved saint, the hypocrite. And to my reproaches he replies that all this will calm down, that they will be...
*Grand Hôtel, Kharkov (29 January)*
Old Mother Gavini, then Saint Amand, then Alexis; I had only just come in. But with Alexis, who does not speak loudly, I am very ill at ease.
I come home all aglow from having spoken openly about Cassagnac — about my feelings, that is. I was going to a women's meeting, and the idea struck...
Before my eyes I have the portraits of my mother and father when they were betrothed.
Here is something I believe I have often written here, and which I now find in Jean-Jacques Rousseau.
After working until five o'clock we go to the Juvisys'. Gown of silk muslin, very supple, very draped; short. the right shoulder, the stems pass...
Yesterday, de Daillens dined with us; Mme Mouzay came to collect her at one o'clock and made a scene because we do not return her calls regularly....
Here is an article by Popaul summarising a current affair — the Dugué case — and which moreover offers explanations of the said Popaul's politics....
Here is a letter *from Nadine and one from Maman [missing] — which my editors will be kind enough to translate. Here is my reply to Maman:*
I lost four or five days over all that — at last Tony comes, and takes my side.
Here is a letter from Maman, very tender [missing].
This morning Julian received the letter whose draft is here [missing], accompanied by an old red tulip. As we have often laughed together about...
Thirty-two days until the Exhibition.
I go to the *Droit des femmes* this evening. They debate whether to participate in the Victor Hugo celebration. Seven against, six in favour. The six...
I went to see Rosita, who is back from Spain and has called on me several times. Naturally one speaks of the evening parties and balls that are...
Aggravations! The drawings had been mixed up and half the competition was not judged. Great commotion — Julian comes upstairs and begins explaining I...
Tony says it is going very well. After giving me a good lesson he goes to correct Amélie, to whom he says almost nothing — very embarrassed, change...
After the atelier we go to the Bois, then to the princess's; I wanted to drag things out until seven o'clock to call on the Gavinis, who are not home...
We have made peace with Julian. I said to him: "M. Julian — well! Will you always hold a grudge against me for something I did not do on purpose?...
I go on dreaming of my family. Mme Anitchkoff writes that Maman is doing the impossible to leave but cannot manage it. It is very tiresome. So...
My aunt and the princess wanted to go to the Palais-Royal, but instead I dress Alexis as a woman with a thick veil, and try to put on his clothes —...
She arrived this morning with Dina, and I only went to the atelier at one o'clock. I expected changes after this journey. And nothing.
La Bailleul and the princess to dinner; after which the six women chat in the blue sitting room.
Julian shows himself cooler about the canvas; he says I have overworked it. That is true. But I cannot do better... I feel like saying I shall never...
Monday evening at the Tunis ball in my Consulate costume — last year's. Very pretty. I caught a chill and am coughing. An evening out, and no...
At last, this evening I asked whether they had brought any letters from Russia for the Embassy. Presumably not. But you surely think that after...
Patti's opening night. White dress with a garland of real white roses worn diagonally across the chest. Very pretty.
It seems to me that the daughter knows, despite what the mother told me. She is sitting for me this week.
Now I reproach myself for not having given my three thousand francs.
Tony is still rather pleased, but very calm withal — and I am not pleased.
I am at a low ebb. And there is everything still to do on the canvas! I shall never have time! And to be mocked by the men downstairs, and by all the...
Things are going better.
Here is Mme de Villevieille's letter. Everything is settled. I am left with only a faint sense of disgust.
Tony came; he finds several things very good, others good — in sum, *it is not bad.* In sum, I am not very pleased.
I have finished the canvas, apart from a few touch-ups.
Well — I am not pleased. Tony finds, as on other occasions, several passages good — but the whole does not earn me compliments; he explains at length...
I cannot do anything myself and ask Amélie to paint in the small head in the middle. Amélie is very kind, by the way; we lunch together, the two of...
I am taking my eight days of holiday. First, let it be said that Marie, Etienne's wife, arrived this morning, having spent a month in Nice where her...
Maman in violet velvet and mauve brocade; Dina in a Russian costume — red plush embroidered in gold, her hair massed with diamonds, her long braid...
I discover a pot of tar under my bed. It is a tender gesture by Rosalie for my health. On the advice of a fortune-teller!
This evening at the Opéra with the Gavinis. White crêpe merveilleux gown, open in the Empire style, with long transparent sleeves. An extraordinary...
M. de Dalmas and his son came to call.
I reckon four hundred thousand francs, and in Russia there are sixty thousand roubles of capital which can be realised in a few weeks — that makes...
I do my competition work in the morning; the afternoons I shall spend going out. We go to the Queen's, where there is a great crowd; I was reluctant...
At the atelier I learn that Breslau has already been accepted, and I have no news of my canvas.
I pretended to sleep until ten o'clock so as not to go to the atelier. I am very miserable.
Saint-Amand, informed by a note from me of the happy (?) fate of the canvas, hurries over around one o'clock.
April fool aside, I am accepted. Julian came to say so himself last night after midnight, on leaving Lefèbvre's. It was Oelsnitz he saw.
Our first Saturday reception — la Bailleul, the Tchoumakoffs, the Gavinis, Odette (Randouin!), Lagnadès-Effendi (Turkish embassy).
Patti has never sung with more spirit than last night — her voice had such breadth, such freshness, such radiance!
Bojidar helps me sort all my correspondence alphabetically, since I keep every last note. We spend the evening together — Dina, myself, Alexis, and...
A surprise! M. Bashkirtseff has arrived. I am fetched from the atelier and find him in the dining room with Maman, who is lavishing every affection...
I am detained until nine o'clock by my father, who begs me not to go to work — but my torso study interests me too much, and I do not see the august...
We went to see *Divorçons* — it is delightful.
Dramas with Amélie, who is mad. She had the insolence to erase a caricature I had drawn on my own canvas in one corner. Had I refused to remove it...
I go to the Chamber with my father, then we visit Tony, and in the evening to Patti in *Semiramide.* How tedious this masterpiece is!
To the Gavinis', to la Bailleul's — the whole family together, Monsieur, Madame and baby.
To the Chamber again. The Andrieux question and the municipal council. Bescherelles places us in the diplomatic box — a grand session but tedious. In...
The Gavinis invite us to the Français; only Maman goes. Papa sends Mme Gavini a plant in a handsome vase.
Saint-Amand comes to announce these lines in *Le Sport.* He is in raptures at his own talent as a promoter. "The day it brought me twenty francs, it...
An article has appeared in *Gil Blas* about Berthe — everything is there except the names, which even the least perceptive can guess. The story with...
I dreamed of Cassagnac — he had committed suicide; I walked through puddles of his blood, then flinging myself into his arms I cried that I wished to...
The whole day as a family — Monsieur, Madame and myself. First to church, then to the Gavinis'; we take Mme Gavini with us. The weather is superb,...
The Tchoumakoffs and the Princess dine with us, and in the evening a costume ball at Mme de Lalande's — a friend of the Juvisys and of la Bailleul,...
I lunched at the Gavinis'. Bojidar dines here. He is a very charming boy. Alexis is a little too conscious of being a man, and a handsome one — but...
Dreamed of Soutzo — not pleasant.
I was returning from No. 37, where I have just finished the portrait of Brisbane as a Récamier, and under the carriage entrance Georges had the...
I brought the portrait to Tony; he finds first that it is very well composed, then after various pieces of advice he good for someone who has not...
The Princess and her husband; then Engelhardt, la Cerny. While the Princess takes me for a drive in the Bois, the whole Gavini circle arrives —...
A dream that forebodes humiliations. For that matter, every morning I begin by wondering from which quarter the annoyance that is certain to come...
Mme de Brimont called, and naturally nothing was spoken of but Girardin's death — every detail. She is deeply affected, distressed.
We argue heatedly about the departure for Russia and all those matters. I say the same things as in my letter to my father; I end up weeping, but...
Alexis comes early; he has a ticket for two, so that with mine we can go four: Monsieur, Madame, myself and Alexis. I am not very pleased with my...
To the Salon, of course — alone in the morning but running into fellow students; in the afternoon with Papa and Alexis, then the Gavinis,...
At the Salon with Gabriel — but it is very irritating to have my aunt at my heels; they say it is easy to get lost there, but not when someone is...
La Bailleul is posing! I am painting her portrait. She asked so insistently that it had to be done. But it is quite tiresome. I went to the Salon...
Dinner at the Grand Hôtel as a party — Maman, my aunt, Dina, myself, the old Prince, Alexis, and du Sautoy. Alexis is very agreeable and we talk, but...
This morning at the Salon, where I met Julian who introduced me to Lefèbvre, who told me there are great qualities in my canvas. I feel very much a...
I dreamed of Cassagnac — I was being accused and he was protecting me. Ah, what a charming dream. Is it then possible that...
I am now almost glad to see my health breaking down in consequence of the happinesses heaven does not send me. And when I am entirely done for,...
Then she tells me her *one adventure.* A rendezvous given at the Opéra, in roughly these terms: "I met you still as a young girl at my friend...
And they are quite tranquil — they tell themselves it will come; and then if I am calm they say: "Ah, so much the better — she is not thinking about...
When I think that when we received Cassagnac we did not even give him a good dinner — and our drawing rooms were far from the artistic coquettishness...
Villevieille came to deliver a blow this morning. She had spoken with Julian, who told her that Breslau will receive a prize — that he tried for both...