Saturday, 5 February 1881

After working until five o’clock we go to the Juvisys’. Gown of silk muslin, very supple, very draped; short. Roses on the right shoulder, the stems pass through the sash and join other roses falling in cascades to the hem of the dress; this makes almost the entire front a mass of flowers.
I am in good spirits — Tony having been very kind: “The starting point is good, it is going well, you will manage; courage. It is very good. Continue, do not waste time.” That is the best he told me. It ought to delight me — well, I no longer find it easy; that is to say, it is just enough to make me work with courage.
At the Juvisys’: my aunt, myself, Émile de Girardin, Albéric Second, Count Cetner, the Baronne de Beyens (the Belgian minister’s wife), M. and Mme Appletcheieff, and others. In all we are seventeen. The Appletcheieffs are from the Nice set — mine met them at the consul’s, the Howards, etc. He is very amiable and brings his wife over to make my acquaintance. An Italian singer sang tolerably well. And I flirted with Émile. We dine next to each other. I do not know how it happens — but I hear well and converse very much at my ease. Not very pretty this evening, but content enough otherwise.
There are days — as at the Brimonts’ — when one cannot find two words in a row, and others... and then one is very amiable. They had the air of “having caught me at last” — I, who always fail at the last moment, came and was on time! Well — I do not deserve to be made such a fuss over.
People say that for thirty or forty years Girardin has been... harmless; others say that the young Juvisy, nearly twenty, is his daughter. The funny thing is that she resembles him unmistakably — he so ugly, she like a little Watteau.
He is amiable to me — I do not know what to say about it... When they introduce him to you, they have the air of saying: “Ladies and gentlemen, here is Émile de Girardin, aged God knows how many years, he still walks, talks, and flirts, like a natural person! Come see the phenomenon; if you speak to him, he will answer as though he were still a sentient being!”
I am quite surprised at having conversed well — I who have so many ravishing things to say when there is no one, and find nothing when I ought. I have a high opinion of myself, and when I am at my best I cannot contain my surprise and satisfaction. Poor Émile stays until half past eleven and becomes more and more drowsy as the hour advances.

Notes

Émile de Girardin (1802–1881), the founder of the modern French popular press with La Presse (1836); he died on 27 April 1881. ↩
Marie’s coinage: ministresse [sic] — her feminine form of ministre; the baroness is the wife of the Belgian minister. ↩
Inoffensif («harmless»): here a euphemism for impotent. ↩