It seems the first person one sees after midnight must be a dark-haired man — I closed my eyes at midnight; a few seconds after, Julian was telling...
Bojidar and I are outraged by the horrible, flat satirical verses about Bastien — it was Irma who taught them to me, and she attributes them to...
I was still singing those fine stanzas towards six o'clock when the archi-tec arrived — this good fellow brings me a drawing he has made,...
For two days my mind has been at work, and this afternoon I had a very clear vision of it. Yes, *The Shepherds of Bethlehem*. A sublime subject, and...
In a word, today I am in a mood to weep — the thought of seeing yesterday's painting again is joined by the terror of finding it poor, and I weep......
Villevieille is rather ignorant — like most society women, for that matter — and full of absurd ideas... And I, full of ideas in the Victor Hugo...
The woman herself is already painted. What I am doing here is not quite honest, and I feel a certain disgust at it — mixed with satisfaction at being...
You understand — it is from the Auvergnat point of view that I speak of appreciating; well, those who do not appreciate me I despise, for they are...
Naturally, that great horror Kotchoubey did not invite us.
Randouin is a member of the Mirlitons, as is Jide, the husband of Mme Randouin's mother. If only I could make a success of this portrait.
This morning I look at it with a... cold eye.
It is undeniable that I want to talk about Bastien-Lepage constantly, and that it costs me not to. What would people think?
Carolus-Duran exhibited a portrait of his mother four years ago — the head alone. An old woman in a white calico bonnet, strings tied under her chin....
At five o'clock I try a new model for Nausicaa. Irma is twenty-three, and though very beautiful, twenty-three is not fifteen.
I went to see Munkácsy's *Christ on the Cross* with the Canroberts; we found at this great (?) and fortunate artist's home Princess Mathilde with the...
Claire and Villevieille.
Oh! in twenty minutes, as befits a superior genius. Afterwards...
This evening, the private view at the Watercolourists' exhibition. Enormous crowd, no one we knew, and fatigue...
Princess Jeanne comes; I receive her in the studio then go downstairs — it is Maman's Saturday. Only young Deschanel is agreeable — he is the son of...
How to articulate grievances... confused ones, against... nature, music, society?... It seemed to me that the maréchale was not very pleased to be...
Salomé alone with the offstage choruses alternating with her lamentations over John's fate — this too closely recalls Amneris alone with the offstage...
I repaint a head in the picture.
I went to Julian's to show him the Randouin portrait; this Marseillais looks very pleased and tells me it is getting better and better.
I have dinner brought up to the studio. The tranquillity is ravishing.
Moraes, the Comtesse Ducos, and her son to dinner... The son is a true dullard and does something or other at the ministry — says nothing, sits glum...
Julian and Gaillard to dinner.
The Marshal came to see his daughter's work and was left a little astonished but delighted. Between half past four and five I paint almost the entire...
I had painted some hands which around two o'clock were very good — and then I ruined them! But I shall not begin again. Ah! what an existence, what...
I am utterly, completely fed up with it.
— and marble shoulders "that slope beautifully, shoulders where one sees the breeding."
I have found a Nausicaa. A little slender but charming — sixteen years old, with a very pure figure. I am delighted — but shall I have the time?
Claire's painting is framed; Popelin finds it very good, except for the cluster of daisies... The one thing the girl did herself.
It seems too good to me — it will probably turn out very bad.
And besides, I am discouraged — this schoolboy prank made me laugh yesterday and makes me weep today.
I went to church, then to the Gavinis', then for a moment to the Bois.
Bagnitsky and the architect to dinner. The latter has been ill — that explains his long absence. I am delighted to see him; he is almost Jules, and I...
She informs me that tomorrow the Baronne de Latapie, their old relation, will pay a visit to the studio.
And Dina, in her groveling before the maréchale, exclaims that it was the maréchale herself who gave me the idea for the painting of the street...
He is going to Algeria with his mother. How touching. On a camel... For I believe Mackay has thrown him over.
Besides, yesterday I dreamt how this head should be painted, and during the day I did what I had seen in my dream — and the dream was right... Only...
And I am going mad. The street children took more time than necessary — and even then I was working outdoors, and that dreadful girl came less. But...
He leaves in three or four days for Algiers. I do not know what it is about his illness that makes me laugh, but I laugh — and the architect is...
But I am sorry not to have my white portrait with the bare arms and neck — a figure study, and a beautiful figure study, with a stunning arrangement....
It is not only that... but I am unwell. All this is so unjust. Heaven crushes me...
Bastien-Lepage is better — he has even been out; my aunt swears she saw him getting into a carriage, supported by a lady and Emile. She says...
This evening an intimate gathering at Mme Hochon's — many artists, and several ladies: the Duchesse d'Uzès, the Comtesse Cornet, the maréchale. Us.
It seemed as if the 15th would never come... The weather is brilliant, and from Monday or Tuesday I am going to work in the country.
Brilliant weather — an enormous crowd! Art students everywhere — what a quantity of paintings, heavens, reduce the number of painters! Each of us...
Claire saw a gentleman who had visited Bastien and found him very ill; the following day he met Bastien's doctor, who said: "In my view this man is...
Raffaeli! Astonishing. That is true Impressionism.
What does "at least" mean? Thank God, I never doubted I would be accepted.
The literary form... the style... yes... after all it is only execution.
Given these words of friendship and the genuinely serious illness of Jules, Maman and even Rosalie warned me firmly against allowing myself any...
Very preoccupied by my work — why have I not yet produced in oil the equivalent of the pastel made nearly two years ago! Good heavens.
As for the moment when, having torn up the contract, he breaks into imprecations — it is maddening. A few little dandies say that Gayarré sings...
Then a visit to Boulanger, who promises to do what he can to secure a good placement. Damnable misery!
I spoke again of the necessity of my aunt's journey and of other indispensable arrangements — but it has been so long since I first raised it that I...
Yes, I am nothing — but Wolff speaks of the Exhibition in the rue de Sèze which opens this evening. He is the triumphant one. Every time, everywhere....
Afterwards I go to Tony's and, very cheerfully, all curiosity: "Well now, Monsieur, how did things go at the jury?" "Very well — when your painting...
Besides, I am quite ill. Oh, my family will bury me — that is almost certain.
My aunt says she is on the point of departing — we shall see.
Yesterday these creatures devised a dinner so admirable that I ate like a wolf — but Rosalie went and said that still furious, I had thrown...
Left alone with that little fool Claire I begin to say that... We first note that people believe me ill and reproach me for not being good to my...
I am so occupied with the painting and with my correspondence with the unknown man that I no longer have time to complain. Julian writes that the...
I stay at home to reply to the unknown man.