Friday, 18 January 1884

Yesterday the maréchale came and prevented me from adding the final touches to Charles’s profile — one always imagines that everything can be saved at the last moment.
In a word, today I am in a mood to weep — the thought of seeing yesterday’s painting again is joined by the terror of finding it poor, and I weep... real tears. What would you have — I am a passionate creature, like nineteen-year-old students in Germany. So neither Villevieille nor even Claire understands me. They call me touched.
And my holy, deep-felt indignation upon discovering a brazen theft committed by Bouguereau at Raphael’s expense — it makes them laugh.
Such things do not touch these ladies. No, it is unimaginable... the borrowings, the infamous thefts, that one finds in all our academic painters.
These ignoble swindlers come into the world with the express purpose of “following the tradition of the masters,” and spend their lives transposing the masters’ compositions. To one, a single figure; to another, an entire group — all reversed from left to right and rechristened, and the trick is done. Those who are not outraged as I am will find this perfectly acceptable. One might, at a stretch, excuse the practice by saying that these contemptible cheats are inspired by the gods of art. What vile roguery, how shameful... In the abstract world so to speak, in the domain of art, of thought, of ideas... Well — among those who occupy themselves with these fantastical domains, I have not had the good fortune to know a single one.
I know society people, and three artists in all... People like Mme and Mlle Bogdanoff, who dined here yesterday.
I have redone a sketch of the women. The whole thing lies in the charm I shall be able (?) to give the atmosphere. Yes, it must truly be evening, truly be the air, truly this fleeting hour when the crescent moon appears still very pale... And that on a large scale?! I shall never manage it!!
Bastien must have made fifty studies to capture that effect... Well, I shall make fifty-five! After the 15th of March. And it will have to be done...
This is no way to live.