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Saturday, 15 March 1884
Abbema1 came to see my painting this morning; she is a likeable girl — a pity one cannot see her except as artists together...Samedi 15 mars 1884Abbema est venue voir mon tableau ce matin; c’est un fille sympathique, dommage qu’on ne puisse la voir autrement qu’en artistes...
It seemed as if the 15th would never come... The weather is brilliant, and from Monday or Tuesday I am going to work in the country.
Il semblait que ce 15 ne viendrait jamais... Il fait un temps radieux et je vais dès lundi ou mardi travailler à la campagne.
That wretched Bastien — no, this time I swear it, I am done with him for ever. It is irrevocable.
Chien de Bastien va non, cette fois je vous le jure, je le lâche à jamais. C’est irrévocable.
Why should I think of him? He has talent. And what of it? I scarcely know him; he is a... closed nature; and besides, it is better to work at one’s own talent than to spend oneself in admiration.
Pourquoi y penserai-je ? Il a du talent. Et puis après ? Je le connais à peine, c’est une nature... fermée; et puis il vaut mieux travailler à son propre talent que de se dépenser en admiration.
He has nothing but his paintings; there is coolness between us. What would you have me do with that?
Il n’a rien que ses tableaux, il y a froideur entre nous. Qu’est-ce que vous voulez que j’en fasse ?
I never see him. Whom to think of, then? My art — until a being appears who will impose himself.
Je ne le vois jamais. A qui penser alors ? Mais à mon art jusqu’à ce que vienne un être qui s’imposera.
And so farewell, dear angel — I despise you. You were!
Ainsi donc adieu cher ange, je te méprise. Tu fus !
Notes
Louise Abbema (1853–1927): French painter and sculptor, known for her portraits of her close friend Sarah Bernhardt. ↩