Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff

Notebook 068

December 1876 — February 1877

19 entries 19 translated

Main location: Naples

Read from the beginning

— A mere formality, said the cashier, one simply has to be recommended by a member of the Cercle; this afternoon being reserved for members, you...

I breathe again, and go out for a walk on foot with my aunt, Dina, and Bihovetz. The others are dancing at the Cercle de la Méditerranée while I...

How could I have doubted for an instant the eagerness of the Howards, the Boutowskys, and others besides, to spread and embroider all these injurious...

Our isolation at the ==Skating== rink infuriates me — there was Belle-de-jour and Markoff, but that is hardly society! I skated toward the end and...

"I am at the Hôtel du Luxembourg with my sisters. Come at once if you can." On the advice of my mothers, at exactly one o'clock I present myself in...

Then I bring Collignon back to my rooms and we talk about my affairs... at length... and so it is that I want nothing but Rome. So, returning from...

[Three lines cancelled] The two Lubimoffs, having lunched with us, have left for Switzerland. Ah! What an atrocious life — only those condemned to...

I used to tell myself that too acute a grief could not last, that sooner or later there always came either an improvement or some sort of end... I...

How I wish I could say all the fine things it makes me think — all the things so many others have said so many times and in such a charming way. To...

At Spillman's there was almost a tender moment. Having arrayed myself in my pontifical attire like the great brute that I am, I go to the Pincio,...

My father has at least paid a call on Baron Visconti and shown himself with us at the skating rink. Paolo Antonelli is the finest skater there — all...

Painting. Do you know who occupies my thoughts at the rink? Paolo. Sympathy?

— That I ended by going there no more — I tell you frankly, for a household so badly kept is to me like a kick in the backside.

I have carried away from Rome the same pleasant and insipid impression as from Naples, and a sketch of an old woman done tolerably well.

It is today that I have something fine to recount.

It is with profound regret that I find myself obliged to return to a subject that appeared to be settled.

I stayed in bed with Maman until three o'clock, because *we found me* excessively unhappy — or rather, pursued by ill luck.

It seems to me that I dreamed all of it.

— I really don't know at all.