To my great surprise I see Countess Merjeewsky in the Rue de France. Once at Maman's I hear talk of the sick count — he has sent for Walitsky. It...
I am as gloomy as the weather and have cried as much as it has rained — which is not enormously. I am going to ask Maman to arrange things, to let us...
I was making my way along the Promenade to Madame Sapogenikoff's. One ought not be surprised to see me going to the Rue de France by way of the...
An abominable wind; I go out completely veiled. In the evening to the opera with Sacha alone (blue dress, my hairstyle, good) — *Il barbiere*, and...
Adam is drunk, the stove is good for nothing, and we have no luncheon. You must understand that when I am hungry I become ferocious, or else I weep —...
Rain, rain, rain — like autumn, which I love. Sacha and Nadia take me to the circus with the children (blue dress, Dina's black velvet hat, good) —...
It has been a long time since I went out during the promenade hours on foot, and it was with pleasure that I walked today in the company of Rickard...
Markevitch comes; I treat him to luncheon at Rumpelmayer's, then walk alone for at least an hour, during which hour I see no one, but suddenly...
I wanted to go to San Remo, but my aunt, who came home yesterday evening, has asked me ten times since this morning whether I am going — since from...
We went for a walk, Nadinka, Marie and I, in this beautiful Sunday weather, and admired Gioia — that adorable creature — I above all others, to the...
At half past eleven I set off for San Remo with Nadinka and her children — Sacha left yesterday (grey dress, good).
The cold woke me, and despite the hard mattresses and dubious sheets I had great difficulty getting up.
Yet another day passed eating oranges, omelettes, and bread, and talking of Miloradovitch. Can my mother think so little of me that this marriage is...
We finally leave dear San Remo, with some regret on Maman's account. But one must imagine this: the little Polish puffed-up bore was there, and his...
I walk with Sabatini — there is no one about. Oh, how perfectly tedious!
I went to take my lesson at Laussel's.
I was so enchanted with my pretty little face — which, without flattering myself, was adorable — that I could do nothing but relish the pleasure of...
I walk with Nadinka and Dina, Sacha and the children. Lewin and Lucie Durand passed us in a pony carriage in their multicolored outfits. "Are they...
Biasini has agreed to our conditions; all that remains is to say the word and they will begin. There are thirty thousand francs ready in the bank...
When Laussel told Hélène Howard that she was to play at the same piano as I in an afternoon recital he wishes to give for the mothers — at which an...
I go to church with the children, dressed in grey like me.
I think I am going mad. I pray to God but hope for nothing — I no longer believe. I am more than wretched.
Not until ten o'clock do I learn that today is the last pigeon shooting — the closing prize of the season. I go with my aunt and Nadia (white dress,...
Paul accompanies me to Laussel's; on the way back I run into Terffidua — he really is better in a carriage and in a top hat than on foot with a soft...
My whole day is turned upside down — I sleep until noon. At five o'clock I go out on horseback, but I have been given a wretched beast which I...
My diary, my confidant, my consoler — it is to this that I turn when I am too wretched, and that is every evening.
I was quite right to say there would be a change. I have had as much fun as a king. And how little it takes to amuse me.
When one wishes — fie! how wretched I am, making excuses for this lazybones! I thought of nothing else when I saw him seated at the café, saying...
I have sketched in charcoal; what remains is to go over it in pencil and then paint. That will be the stumbling block for me. I have a facility for...
Nadia and I were at Nina's. I have grown accustomed to this family, though it offers nothing particularly agreeable. This evening at the opera, *Il...
— *You will ruin yourself,* my aunt was saying to me, *you are ruining yourself.*
Sacha and his wife are leaving for Russia, taking Paul with them; Maman goes to Cannes with Dina and Walitsky. Botkine will spend a week in Cannes...
(*Tome IV,* continued from p. 360) — carries himself like a man about to announce something. I am ashamed to confess that my heart began to beat — it...