Tuesday, 27 August 1878

I shall never forgive my family these three years of suffering, at the age when all girls in a situation like ours enjoy themselves and go into society. What storms, what bitterness, what rage these three stolen years stir up!!
Now I have the nails of a proper young lady, so I am going to have a pretty little hand with nothing to spoil it.
— Do you know who is coming to dinner tomorrow? asked Mlle Oelsnitz as she came into the atelier.
— Who?
— Guess.
In the good old days that was how my big brother used to be announced to me... for an instant I had something like an idea... an old one.
Dourassoff is dining tomorrow.
I have a fine letter from Abaza and from Hall. A telegram from Coubé.
Here is what I am writing to my henceforth only brother.
Copied letterLettre de Marie à son frère Paul, 27 août 1878
Dear brother, I have heard it said that you intend to contract a lawful union with a Mademoiselle Patchenko. I do not know her personally, but I assure you that she is nothing very distinguished. The name does not suit me and the alliance hardly flatters me. I would even be grateful to you, and very seriously so, if you would spare me this kinship. I do not see what can drive you to such an act of desperation at your age. I understood the plans concerning Nadine (Eristoff): the young lady’s mother was a friend of Grand-maman’s and of all of us, although the father was an imbecile, and besides, the girl is charming, though she has fallen into ignoble hands. That marriage, though senseless considering your age, seemed possible; but this other flower of Poltava — I beg you, do not think of it. Do not let yourself be worked up by citizens of that great capital of knights, who will get you drunk (at your expense) in a public garden and stuff into your brain the more than preposterous idea of sacrificing yourself at eighteen. For that they will receive twenty-five or fifty roubles as a tip from the family of your quasi-intended. I wrote to you not very long ago, and I am characteristically astonished that my letter should be lost. Be so extremely obliging as to enlighten me regarding your matrimonial intentions; I hope to have the satisfaction of learning that it is not serious. Alas, I cannot think of any career for you other than that of a gentleman-farmer, thanks to your absolutely incomplete education, but I oppose seriously, officially and formally this mad idea of plunging headfirst into that bourgeoisie. I shall not look for an archduchess for you — she would not have you — but I want for a sister-in-law someone of good family — distinguished, nice and well brought up. A woman who does us credit and whom I can show without embarrassment. I have the right to be particular, since I hold myself extremely high and set you the example of a dignified pride, without exaggeration, and absolutely necessary in this world. Write to me quickly, and... No foolishness! Marie
There is an article by Paul de Cassagnac in Le Pays.
You know that M. de Bismarck began in a small newspaper. Before the catastrophe I was in the habit of stuffing Le Pays into my bodice or my sash, because the mere contact of Paul de Cassagnac’s newspaper gave me pleasure. I can tell these follies now — particularly since they... would continue still, if I did not restrain myself.
I told Maman to ask the Anitchkoffs for a letter of introduction to the Paris Embassy. They spent eight days at our home before leaving for Russia, while I was at Soden — and since they are such devoted friends, they really ought to be of some use.
My will