Friday, 25 July 1884

Ah, Jouy, Jouy! I am feverish from it and hold myself back from weeping.
Jealous of Bojidar as I am, I give him instructions in the third person. On hearing him say that Emile had told him to call his brother by his first name, I blushed with vexation. That is how it is.
He is in bed then; we have sent goodness knows what, and the news is not good. I shall go tomorrow. My God, if I could believe it would be agreeable to him I should go every day, as often as he liked.
The Gavinis come to say goodbye — they are leaving for Agen.
And I with Jouy!! Oh! Jouy! To distract myself I change my seat at table, have my armchair surrounded by a folding screen, and settle in as if in a sentry box — half laughing, half crying — to the great amusement of my family and Bojidar. Yes, I eat meat powder, and I am going to make Jules eat some too.
It has been prescribed for me, and I play at being an invalid: the armchair, the screen, three bottles, a small burner, fruits, syrups, two broths... It is very amusing.
Ah! misery!
Ah! misery!
Ah! misery!