Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Friday, 1 April 1881

April Fool's aside — I am accepted. Julian came to say so himself last night after midnight, on leaving Lefebvre's. He saw Oelsnitz there.
We drank punch at the studio. Bojidar, without being asked, inquired of Fidière (a young man from downstairs) and assures me I have number two. This seems to me excessive.

Saturday, 2 April 1881

Our first Saturday reception — la Bailleul, the Tchoumakoffs, the Gavinis, Odette (Randouin I), Lagnadès-Effendi (Turkish embassy).
La Bailleul brings Mme de la Lande, her friend, who is going to give a costume ball and is counting on my costume celebrated in Le Sport. Saint-Amand is coming to the Italiens with us this evening. Mme de Peyronney (Vicomtesse de Létorière) was to come with us but is unwell!! — "No matter," says Saint-Amand, "the courtesy is made; she will come to see you and we shall have a 'Carnet d'un mondain.' Besides, when Agathe takes something on — you will see. I want you to be this spring the most fashionable young woman in Paris, the most remarked. We need a success — a real one. Le Sport has made a start; you will see how it will go." I am in an Arab gauze dress with a very airy tulle fichu.
Saint-Amand and Gavini come to tell me how many people asked who is this ravishing etc. etc.
I thought I had kept the feuilleton about the cocodettes where the "Baron de Saint-Agathe" is discussed — it would explain the character: how his flame, entirely... platonic, is not the kind that burns; how he seeks no conflagration; how he gives himself body and soul to his idol of the moment. As soon as some personality appears in society capable of making a noise in the world, he seizes upon her, celebrates her, builds altars to her everywhere, speaks of nothing but her praise. And then, once the reputation is made, the idol established, surrounded, settled, accepted by the public — he withdraws and passes to another cult. Only, it will be more difficult in my case: an American introduced by her minister — that would be straightforward; or an actress, a singer, a dancer. But I am a girl of society, and I have neither my embassy nor any support in the Russian colony — on the contrary. Only last Monday (the Appletcheieffs, no doubt) people were saying unpleasant things about us at the Queen's, and one of the chamberlains asked Gavini what we were — and Gavini had to reassure him. And I who held my tongue about Mme Appletcheieff — if I had said something, whatever she might have said afterwards would have been considerably weakened! But I said to myself: I shall keep silent and heaven will reward me for it... Perhaps it will, later — but for the moment it only loosened the tongue of the vile Russian. Well.
Saint-Amand will have all the more work to do since the jealousies aroused will have no shortage of ways to blackball me.
But let us think of Edmond the sorcerer and repeat after him: "I shall overcome everything."
Four days ago Gabriel was badly bruised along his whole side when a carriage knocked into him while he was paying his coachman. He is in bed and we shall not see each other for at least ten days.

Notes

Poisson d'avril: April Fool's Day — 1 April. The joke is that the news of acceptance (which came the previous night) might have seemed too good to be true on this particular day. ↩
Catalogue number two: with a surname beginning "A" (Andrey), Marie would be near the front of the alphabetical catalogue. Number 2 would place her as the second work listed — a prominent position. ↩
Saint-Amand had been profiled (as the "Baron de Saint-Agathe") in a satirical feuilleton about fashionable Parisian types who devote themselves to promoting social celebrities — a character sketch Marie finds accurate and slightly cynical. ↩
Blackbouler: from English "blackball" — to exclude, ostracise. The English loanword was already established in French society slang by the 1880s. ↩
"Edmond the sorcerer": likely a theatrical or literary reference Marie is using as a personal motto; the exact source has not been identified. ↩