Sunday, 25 August 1878

We were at church, where Grand Duke Constantine was present.
Afterwards we paid a call on Mme de Balorre, on her daughter the Baronne de Wykerslooth, and on her other daughter, married to the Comte de Souza, an embassy attaché... The latter will not go to the Mouzay woman’s evenings; her mother and her other sister do not often go there either, for that matter. Then a card left at the Boyds’.
The Prince and Princess Mechtcherski of Rome were there; at church I felt a mad shame and fear, but on the way out they recognised us and looked at us so graciously that I could have embraced them for joy. The Prince raised his hat, believing himself acquainted with us from Rome. I need my revenge, and it is not a Cassagnac I need... no, truly.
We take a turn in the Bois; Maman kept me there until six o’clock because Grand Duke Alexis was walking there. She is truly mad.
Is not Cassagnac a kind of Raoul Nathan? (A Daughter of Eve.) That devil Balzac thinks of everything — one need only reach in and draw out any type, any situation, any definition, any observation however subtle, however extraordinary, however true.
No — since he is married. And besides — fie! no! It is such madness to write these fantasies; the pen gives them substance. But still... sometimes it seems to me that nothing surpasses the Deceased, and the moment I give him all my confidence, I fear I have given it to an unworthy creature, a journalist, that I have exaggerated. And I do not know which of the two alternatives I prefer. The fact is, I have moved the great man’s portraits — they were making me impatient.
One was made two years ago; the man sits astride a chair. The other is quite recent: Monsieur sits in an armchair and appears to be clinging to it. The first bears, in my own hand, the word: Before; the second, After. Like the advertisements for oils against hair loss. There are also two mottoes: En Avant! and J’y suis, j’y reste. But I have placed these images so as to hide them in shadow, behind a curve the screen makes to leave room for the candelabrum. I was already getting into the habit of looking at them all the time.

Notes

Grand Duke Constantine Nikolaevich (1827–1892), brother of Tsar Alexander II, was one of the architects of the Great Reforms of the 1860s, including the emancipation of the serfs. He was in Paris during the 1878 Universal Exposition. ↩
Raoul Nathan is an ambitious journalist and poet in Balzac’s novel Une fille d’Ève (1838–1839) who captivates a married countess through his passionate intelligence. ↩
«J’y suis, j’y reste» (Here I am, here I stay): the words attributed to General MacMahon at the captured Malakoff redoubt, Sebastopol, in 1855. ↩