# Wednesday, 7 December 1876

Wednesday, 7 December 1876

We returned the call on Mme Souvoroff and went to Mme de Ballore’s and Mme de Wykersloovth’s, who had come to us. Jeanne is at present with her frightful husband and his mother the Princesse de la Trémoille.
For the first time I am a godmother. Bihovetz is the godfather. The child is the daughter of a Russian woman married to a Black man. The little girl is black; the mother is to be a chambermaid to Maman.
I had to kiss Bihovetz — it is the custom. Maman is vexed by it and does nothing but exclaim and protest, laughing all the while. Ah! if she knew...
Pelikan and Broussais. Broussais is a frightful spinner of tall tales, but a character — rough, sometimes improper, but a rather curious character. He is a friend of Pelikan’s; they served together. Pelikan, thanks to his high position in Russia... I do not know what I meant to say; I am tired.
Ah! that lawsuit, always that lawsuit... just when I ought to have had a brilliant setting.
My God, accept this prayer and believe that it comes from the bottom of my heart, after serious reflection: let me die, or else let me live as I wish...
Life as I want it, or death... I shall accept death without a murmur... only let this change, oh, in Heaven’s name.
No one will guess why I am in a bad temper this evening. That is precisely why I am going to tell you. I am furious because I am too well made. And I am right. It is ridiculous to have such a body all to oneself. It is ridiculous to have such a body in an age like ours. And so — yes, I am going to veil all my mirrors; seeing myself irritates me too much.
Read the attached article on the Chamber. [See p. 221] I have written Olga-Giroflé a letter on ruled paper.
Kind young lady, a poor workman out of work, a wretch who might have been the father of a family, comes to commend himself to your kind heart, hoping that, in memory of the time when he shone with such brilliant lustre on the Promenade des Anglais, you will take pity on him.
Having sold my clothes, I found myself forced to cut myself a dressing gown out of the flag you saw floating so victoriously from the battlements of my highest tower. It floats no more! It has worn out covering my wretched carcass!
I have borrowed a pair of trousers and a jacket from my old concierge, and I am going to work as a box-opener at the Opéra so as to remain in high society.
If you could, kind young lady, send me a few sheepskins and a pair of boots, I would pray to the good Lord for you.
Awaiting a prompt and favourable reply, I have the honour to be your devoted servant.
Audiffret, Emile.

Notes

The Trémoille — one of the oldest noble families of France, with continuous history from the medieval period. ↩