❦
Saturday, 15 July 1876
It is poor Rémy who writes this, leaving a gardenia for me on the table, [the letter is missing]Samedi 15 juillet 1876
I took Mmes de Mouzay and de Mertens to Laferrière’s to watch me try on my dresses.
J’ai emmené Mmes de Mouzay et de Mertens chez Laferrière, me voir essayer mes robes.
The heat is deadly. We went to the Bois to drink milk, then to Binder’s; I tried to make that man understand that he must invent something new. For at Caroline’s I do nothing but invent styles, and today I tried on a dress so charming that Caroline called Hortense and ordered her to reproduce it in velvet, in wool and in silk, and to launch this bodice.
Il fait chaud à en mourir. Nous avons été au Bois boire du lait puis chez Binder, j’ai cherché à faire comprendre à cet homme qu’il fallait inventer du nouveau. Car chez Caroline je ne fais qu’inventer des façons, et aujourd’hui j’ai essayé une robe si charmante que Caroline a appelé Hortense et lui a ordonné de la reproduire en velours, en laine et en soie, de lancer ce corsage.
crossed out[A line crossed out]
[une ligne rayée]
After lunch I went to find Rice on the balcony and told her yesterday’s story. Vigier was there, listening. It must interest him, because of his wife, the celebrated Sophie Cruvelli.
Après déjeuner, je vins trouver Rice sur le balcon et lui racontai l’histoire d’hier. Vigier était là qui écoutait. Ça doit l’intéresser, à cause de sa femme, la célèbre Sophie Cruvelli.
I am beginning to wonder whether Antonelli will answer me. Oh! yes, if he is in Rome. But there is no one in Rome at the moment. Everyone is in the country. That is a tiresome doubt. I wanted to make sure once and for all, and I cannot.
Je commence à me demander si Antonelli va me répondre. Oh ! oui, s’il est à Rome. Mais il n’y a en ce moment personne à Rome. Tout le monde est à la campagne. Voilà un doute importun. Je voulais m’assurer une fois pour toutes et je ne le puis.
I have his letter here. What need had he to write if he did not love me? And above all such a letter, for it comes from the heart.
J’ai là sa lettre. Qu’avait-il besoin d’écrire s’il n’aimait pas ? Et surtout une pareille lettre, car elle vient du cœur.
Besides, he is not like the others: he never followed me about in Rome, he never paid me insipid compliments, he always laughed at people “who write letters.”
D’ailleurs il n’est pas comme les autres, il ne m’a jamais suivie à Rome, il ne m’a jamais dit des fades douceurs, il s’est toujours moqué des gens « qui écrivent des lettres ».
“Is it not absurd?” he would ask me.
— N’est-ce pas que c’est absurde ? me demandait-il.
“No doubt,” I would answer.
— Sans doute, répondais-je.
Is he in Rome, or is he not in Rome? That is the question.1
Est-il à Rome, ou n’est-il pas à Rome ? That is the question.
Chocolat has arrived! I missed that charming Black boy... he reminds me of Rome.
Chocolat est arrivé ! Ce charmant Noir me manquait... il me rappelle Rome.
Ah! how I miss my journal! How I should like to reread my stay in Rome, the carnival!
Ah ! que je regrette mon journal ! Comme je voudrais relire mon séjour à Rome, le carnaval !
Let us not wear ourselves out in useless yearnings and regrets. I hate doing useless things. For me everything has a purpose; when it has none, I invent one to quiet my conscience. The other day I was asking myself what use my friendship with Mme de Mouzay would be to me. It is revolting! Bah? It serves to win me this lady’s friendship. But what use is her friendship to me? This: that Mme de Mouzay speaks very highly of me; she judges me as I am, as I show myself; and the good that is said of you is not a commodity to be scorned. Not to mention that what is said below is often heard above.
Ne nous consumons pas en élans et en regrets inutiles. Je déteste faire des choses inutiles. Pour moi chaque chose a un but, quand elle n’en a pas, je m’en invente un pour tranquilliser ma conscience. Je me demandais l’autre jour à quoi me servirait mon amitié pour Mme de Mouzay. C’est révoltant ! Bah ? Elle me sert à me donner l’amitié de cette dame. Mais son amitié à quoi me sert-elle ? A cela que Mme de Mouzay dit le plus grand bien de moi, elle me juge telle que je suis, telle que je me montre ; et le bien qu’on dit de vous n’est pas une marchandise à dédaigner. Sans compter que souvent ce qu’on dit en bas est entendu en haut.
It was this morning that she was surprised to hear me say that I was kind to everyone in general, out of contempt for the human race.
C’est ce matin qu’elle a été surprise en m’entendant dire que j’avais de la bonté pour tout le monde en général, par mépris pour le genre humain.
“A man thoroughly great, says Bulwer, speaking of Rienzi, has a certain contempt for his [illegible] while he aids them. Their [illegible] or their [illegible] are all: their applause, their blame are nothing to him. He walks forth from the circle of birth and habit ; he is deaf to the little motives of the little men... until the dark swallows up the star thirsting for no sound from the earth it illumines, anxioux for no companionship in the path through which it rolls, conscious of its own glory, and contented, therefore, to be alone.”2
« A man thoroughly great, dit Bulwer en parlant de Rienzi, has a certain contempt for his [illisible] while he aids them. Their [illisible] or their [illisible] are all: their applause, their blame are nothing to him. He walks forth from the circle of birth and habit ; he is deaf to the little motives of the little men... until the dark swallows up the star thirsting for no sound from the earth it illumines, anxioux for no companionship in the path through which it rolls, conscious of its own glory, and contented, therefore, to be alone. »
Did I not say much the same thing a few days ago, in Nice? Heavens above!3 So I know nothing new! So everything has already been said!
Est-ce que je n’ai pas dit à peu près la même chose il y a de cela quelques jours, à Nice ? Cap de Diou ! Je ne sais donc rien de nouveau ! On a donc tout dit !
Ah! if only I could know whether Antonelli is in Rome. It occupies me more than you think.
Ah ! si je pouvais savoir si Antonelli est à Rome. Cela m’occupe plus que vous le pensez.
Notes
In English in the original. ↩
In English in the original — Marie quotes Edward Bulwer-Lytton’s Rienzi, the Last of the Roman Tribunes (1835); the [illegible] gaps mark words the editors could not read, and Marie’s spellings are kept as written. ↩
In Niçois in the original: Cap de Diou ! — a southern French (Niçois/Provençal) oath, literally “Head of God!”. ↩