Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Friday, 30 June 1876

The thought of seeing my father again — that disagreeable, irritated, prejudiced man, who has never been anything but impertinent with me, as I have been with him in return. Shall I succeed? Chi lo sa? Deo juvante.1

# Vendredi 30 juin 1876

That wretched Folon having again failed to come and take measurements for the mirrors, I had to go out — and once out, I consented to hear the beautiful music in the Gardens;2 especially as Messrs. Galula, Audiffret, and Gautier were there in full strength. But my family had so often told me they had seen them without their having approached that I was expecting no one — when Galula came. I put on my agreeable air, for Danesi and Del Borgo — two married men, but two Italians — were behind our carriage. After a while, to my great astonishment, Gautier and Audiffret came to the carriage door. Audiffret — pale, stooped, tired, wretched. Having blushed before their arrival, I did not blush at the moment. My aunt asked the Surprising One* whether he knew Alexandre de Larderei. Why yes, of course! They spoke of this eccentric young man; I spoke of his complexion, so beautiful and so pale.

Cet animal de Folon ayant encore manqué de venir prendre mesure des glaces, je dus sortir et, une fois sortie, je consentis à entendre la belle musique du Jardin. D'autant plus que MM. Galula, Audiffret, Gautier, s'y trouvaient au complet. Mais tant de fois les miens m'ont dit les avoir vus sans qu'ils se fussent approchés que je n'attendais personne, quand Galula vint. Je pris mon air agréable car Danesi et del Borgo - deux hommes mariés mais deux Italiens - étaient derrière notre voiture. Au bout de quelque temps, à mon grand étonnement, Gautier et Audiffret vinrent auprès de la portière. Audiffret pâle, voûté, fatigué, misérable. Ayant rougi avant leur arrivée, je ne rougis pas, au moment. Ma tante demanda au Surprenant * s'il connaissait Alexandre de Larderei. Comment donc ! On parla de ce garçon toqué, je parlai de son teint, si beau et si pâle.

I felt my face rested and pretty too — I conducted myself simply and with a great deal of grace, which rarely happened to me in the presence of the wretch who will rot. I addressed myself for the most part to the handsome Gautier, to the illustrious Pepino who has grown a beard like a monkey. Besides, we and these gentlemen seemed rather ill at ease, like people who do not know on what terms they stand with one another. What a pity that neither Collignon nor the Sapogenikoffs were there — they would have died of envy. Indeed, the civility of these cads was an enviable good fortune.

Je me sentais la figure reposée et jolie aussi, je me conduisais simplement et avec beaucoup de grâce ce qui m'arrivait rarement en présence du malheureux qui pourrira. J'adressai pour la plupart la parole au beau Gautier, à l'illustre Pepino qui est devenu barbu comme un singe. D'ailleurs nous et ces messieurs nous semblions assez mal à l'aise, comme des gens qui ne savent pas en quels termes ils sont les uns avec les autres. Quel dommage qu'il n'y ait ni Collignon ni les Sapogenikoff, elles crèveraient d'envie. En effet, c'était un bonheur enviable que la politesse de ces cads.

Gautier did nothing but discover small creatures on our dresses and brush them away, while Audiffret made witticisms about "the young man with ants." — Good Lord, my aunt said, flicking one of these insects from her ribbon, how many creatures there are this evening! — Do you hear? said Audiffret with a laugh — that is aimed at us. — Yes, said Gautier, pressing his lips together — there are a great many creatures; there is nothing else.

Gautier ne faisait que découvrir des petites bêtes sur nos robes et les chasser et Audiffret faisait de l'esprit sur « le jeune homme aux fourmis ». - Mon Dieu, dit ma tante en faisant sauter un de ces insectes de son ruban, combien de bêtes il y a ce soir ! - Vous entendez, dit Audiffret en riant, c'est à notre adresse. - Oui, dit Gautier en serrant les lèvres, il y a beaucoup de bêtes, il n'y a que ça.

Notes

Italian and Latin: "Who knows? With God's help." ↩
The Jardin Public (public gardens) in Nice, where a band performed during the summer evenings — a fashionable meeting place. ↩