Wednesday, 10 March 1875

Laferrière has sent Nadinka two astonishing dresses. The care she has taken over them and the speed with which she sent them flatter me infinitely — it was I who ordered them.
I take Stiopa and Julie, both dressed in grey like me, to Rumpelmayer’s, where we are much stared at by two dark newcomers.
Once into my brown dress, I loop up the train, put on Dina’s hat, my fur-trimmed mantle and a pair of quite charming otter-fur mules, and set off alone on foot, followed by Fortuné Saïd in livery, to the Sapogenikoffs’. Nothing could be more elegant than my figure in this attire. Off I go, proud as can be of my turnout, imagining myself a duchess of the good old days.
I wanted to see the head that Marie’s teacher had brought her, to judge whether I should take him on to carry on with my painting, which is dying. The head is well painted, and I am more undecided than ever, for they say that Nègre, the teacher at the lycée, is very good too.
From reading so many books about kings, princes and dukes, I am taking on their gestures, their speech and their pride; haughty by nature, I am becoming even more so.
What a little madcap I am! At Ostend I once wept because I am not Louis XIV — and at moments I believe I am.