Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Tuesday, 3 April 1883

It was unnecessary — she has been accepted. There was an error; we keep her to dinner.
The weather is beautiful; I feel a strength within me — I believe I can make fine paintings.
I feel it; I am certain of it.
The sun, the spring, the open air — this is the finest season. In summer one must flee the heat, in winter the cold; in summer only the mornings and evenings are beautiful, but at present it is a paradise, and if one does not take advantage of it to paint en plein air one is greatly to blame. So tomorrow…
The Engelhardts and the Faleyeffs to dinner. Alice too; we say silly things about Bastien-Lepage. "And Jules? He is well. Is old Mackay not hideous!" Or: "What talent! What do you suppose he is doing at this moment? He is dining." Or the running refrain: he is young, he is handsome, he has talent. These are the most tender terms I employ regarding Coco. And it has become a running joke that all the regulars cultivate. No sooner does one say: he is young… than others add: he is handsome, he has talent.
I feel within me the power to render what strikes me.
I feel a new strength.
A confidence in myself that triples my faculties. Tomorrow I am going to undertake a painting that enchants me, and then later, in autumn, for the bad weather, another one very interesting as well. It seems to me now that every stroke will tell, and I feel an incomparable intoxication at the thought.

Notes

Alice Brisbane's drawing was in fact accepted; the rejection had been a mistake. ↩
"La mère Mackay" — Mrs. Mackay, a woman in Jules Bastien-Lepage's circle whom Marie regards with amused disdain. ↩