Saturday, 20 December 1879

Once again I am going to pay homage to God, who on several occasions has granted wishes of mine... trifles, but that is something. Every time I boast of such things I have bad luck afterwards, but it seems to me that I am not being honest if I keep silent about them, and that it glorifies God.
I take Paul and go off to the Chamber in black velvet, a Rembrandt hat, my hair tousled — very pretty. It is packed, but I manage to find us seats. The session is interesting, and Joseph, handsome again, often looks at me through his glass. Having caught sight of me, he at once took up his lorgnette as if to make sure that it was I. Does he suspect?
Not in the least. The session was drawing to a close, and then we had to go back in to meet our party in the vestibule; we come upon Joseph, whom I had seen called away by a note handed to him at the tribune — Joseph bent double, leaning on the banister, turned towards the coat-racks and chatting animatedly and amicably with a sort of lady’s maid, badly turned out and common!!!
I send Paul to fetch the carriage so that I can stay there and see him close to, while eyeing the room, the clocks, the ushers and, as if by chance, the charming couple. She must be his fiancée, or his mother’s servant, or some cocotte’s?...
At last I have seen him, and he is not ugly as he was at Murcie; he does not even look stupid, but very simple and very nice. But why these amours with the servant? Perhaps he is going to marry her.
All the while I was waiting he paid considerable attention to my person, pretty (for today), and as I was growing impatient with waiting I went to look out at the door, to meet Paul, and he rushes over to see whom I was going to. This hat suits me very well. Gambetta too looked at me through his glass, as always. I have told everyone that I adore him; perhaps someone has told him.
No callers. Berthe arrives to tell me to come skating tomorrow; it will be the fifth time I have gone. She has thought up a very funny prank, which is to write to Arnaud to be there: “a woman of society who loves you.” Blue-fox skirt, grey jacket, black toque. Approach the person as an old acquaintance so as not to shock those around her. The beauty of it is that the outfit in question exists and skates every day; it is even very ugly, very ridiculous and very expensive.
We spend the evening by the fire, Dina, Berthe and I, making music; I have my days...