Friday, 5 April 1878

In the wake of the misunderstandings and April Fools' jests it was necessary to invite several people to dinner, among them Multedo, whom
we had previously invited and who had excused himself, and to whom maman wrote yesterday — and he, believing it is I who wrote, replies as you may see by reading this letter.
^4^ Paris, 36 rue du Colisée
5 April 1878. Mademoiselle,
I share your sentiment: pleasure first, and duty afterwards, if one has the time to fulfil it.
We come to you tomorrow evening at 7 o'clock, happy to spend a pleasant evening under the spell of your fascination.
That is settled. But allow me to return to you what you sent me in error and which I received this morning, at the hour when the lark greets the dawn: a note intended for M. de Morgan. M. de Morgan, whose address I do not know, must have received another that was intended for me. In that case, be advised that it has not reached me.
Perhaps he received nothing, and in writing the address you confused his name with mine, or his person with me. I did not know that I resembled him, and I am flattered by whatever similitude may exist between us.
You, who mistake unmasked people for one another — what would you think of someone who could recognise masked people at first sight? Would you think that they have memory in the heart rather than in the mind?
I have the honour of placing my respects at your feet.
A. Multedo
A little later Filippini writes, then de Morgan and others — the invitations became entangled, but let us pass on.
This Multedo... so long as I do not come to detest him! Here is one who will not disturb my competitions.
How grieved I am that everything is broken with Cassagnac. I do not know what has happened or broken, but what I know is that I shall not know how to approach him, and that the old understanding has melted like last year's snow...
It is only an impression, and I hope it will amount to nothing.
All my life I have sought to place myself, voluntarily, under some illusory domination or other, but all those people I have tried were so ordinary in comparison to me that I have had nothing from them but disgust.
Bad tendencies still push me to seek this domination by another, but I do not want it, since I seriously desire to think of nothing but my future, for which an almost complete freedom of mind is indispensable.
And besides, it would lead me into a heap of pointless jealousies, angers, griefs. And besides — and above all... Who? A man who
Hd, p. 239-240
will be disposed to treat me well, above all. But you know how difficult it is for me in general to respect and admire a man who treats me well.