Thursday, 4 April 1878

I went to the atelier very early and learned the verdict, which is absolutely senseless and has thrown everyone into confusion.
Viik has the medal (this is natural enough), then comes Madeleine (the one who almost always has the medal), and then myself. I am so surprised that I am not even pleased. 3. Forchhammer, 4. Haegli, 5. Lundahl, 6. I do not know who, 7. Breslau, 8. Bang, 9. Amélie, 10. Kennedy.
It was so surprising that Julian went to ask Lefebvre (who was first on the Salon jury) why he had ranked us thus. And Lefebvre and the students from downstairs said that I was placed second because one could see that I had the right feeling, the right instinct for drawing. As for Breslau, it appears that her drawing was tainted by chic. She was far from the model and there was consequently a certain slackness, but since the professors are prejudiced against women they took it for chic.
Fortunately for me Robert-Fleury was absent; Lefebvre and Boulanger judged alone — otherwise they would have said I was placed second through Robert-Fleury's patronage.
I do not know what to do with my evenings since the evening class closed, and it wearies me.
My aunt and Etienne missed the train; they did not leave until this evening.