Monday, 27 August 1877

I do not like Wiesbaden; we are still here because of Maman's headache.
There are many people to greet on the promenade, but it is deadly dull here. Lautrec after a fashion makes the time pass by telling stories in that inimitable accent and with that singularly refined bonhomie which I find only in him.
Batourine dined with us at the Kursaal; we caught him with the theatre and the field marshal, after which Lautrec asked how a hare [a page removed by Marie] that had been thrown into an empty well with no exit could possibly escape.
"Ah! I don't know," we said, "come, how?"
"Why," he replied, "that is the hare's business."
All this is old and silly if you like — but the manner of telling is everything.
I am elegant, as pretty as I can be, pleasant, proper. [Crossed out: It is to torment myself that I look well... since it is too late.] But what is the use now? It is too late. If I had been like this then... everything would have been different. And now it is too late.
I have added a clause to my nightly prayer, five words: Protect our armies, my God. I would say I am anxious, but before interests so great, what am I to say anything at all? I detest idle compassion. I shall speak of our war only if I can do something about it.
I confine myself to persisting nonetheless, to admiring our imperial family, our Grand Dukes, and our poor, dear Emperor.
They say we are doing badly. I should like to see the Prussians in this wild, arid country, full of traitors and ruses. Those excellent Prussians marched through a rich and fertile country like France, where at every step they found towns or countryside that gave them something to drink, eat, and steal. I should like to see them in the Balkans. Not to mention that we are fighting, while they for the most part bought their way and then conducted a butchery of men.
[Three lines cancelled]
Our brave men die like disciplined brutes, say the people with prejudice — like heroes, say the honest people.
But everyone is agreed in saying that men have never fought as the Russians are fighting now.
History will tell you so.