Monday, 19 March 1877

Yesterday we received yet another invitation from the Philharmonic Circle.
The weather is hot and heavy. I am growing ugly, I loathe myself, and I believe everyone finds me ugly and repellent.
The Fabbricatores and Mme and Mlle Hamontoff come to see us.
For two days now I have been amusing myself by cooking. Oh! not in the German manner, but quite poetically. I cook eggs over a spirit lamp, and yesterday I roasted ham and potatoes. I can no longer swallow the hotel food. I also play ball.
I am bored, too.
The three hundred thousand francs given by Larderel come down to a hundred thousand. a month.
The letter is postmarked the 13th, that is, Tuesday; it left Florence on Monday the 12th. And Altamura only brought it on the 16th! Only now, examining the envelope, have I noticed this. I replied on the 17th; he will receive it on the 18th. That means he will have waited six days for an answer!! That is too long in such a case. I am sorry about it. This phrase carries enormous weight, because as a rule I pride myself on being careless.
The extraordinary dream took place on the night of Friday to Saturday, 10 March. He was writing to me on the 12th.
Had I received his letter at once, I would have been the first to know this news. I should not like to express with any “Bijou” or “Monsieur the coachman” the satisfaction I feel at this eagerness to let me know.
And I, who already thought I had replied too quickly!
I am disturbed by a visit from Mme and Mlle Hotowsky, relatives of Bikowsky’s, who dined at the table d’hôte and come to us in the evening.
I hid. I hate being caught like that in my dressing gown. I am tired.