Saturday, 14 October 1876 (2 October)

I have received some dresses from Paris; I dressed and, as Michel’s horses were at the door, I went out with Paul. Poltava is a more interesting town than one would think. Kharkoff is bigger, but Kharkoff has no historical memories at all. In Poltava the first thing worth seeing is Peter the Great’s little church; it is made of wood, and to preserve it they have built a brick casing around it, with room enough between the casing and the walls of the church for a man to walk through freely.
Right beside the church stands the column raised on the very spot where, after winning the battle of 21 June 1709, the Emperor deigned to rest, seated on a stone. The column is of bronze.
I went into the old wooden church, knelt, and touched the floor three times with my forehead. They say that if you do this in a church you are visiting for the first time, what you are praying for will come true.
I prayed to be avenged on Antonelli. Let us not forget to say that Gritz paid us a short visit together with his relative Count Miloradovitch, aide-de-camp to the Emperor, an uninteresting and disagreeable personage.
Continuing my round of the sights, I called on Michel; he has just bought a hunt, hounds, cats… no! huntsmen… Oh, no — a whole hunt, in short. He sounded the horn, the hounds came running, and the men too…
The great monastery of Poltava stands on the top of the second hill: Poltava is built on two hills. The only thing worth seeing there is the wooden iconostasis, marvellously carved. There I repeated the vow concerning Antonelli.
That is where my ancestor, grandpapa’s father, is buried. I bowed before his tomb.
The thing I was expecting from Nice has arrived; I shall explain when it is all over.
One of the greatest curiosities of Poltava came to see us. It is Kapitan’s father. A miser, an eccentric, a brute or a man of wit, rich, and supernaturally filthy in his person. I do not know what friendship united General Bashkirtseff and this man, which is where the present acquaintance comes from. Besides, the whole town knows him; he is a character, an indescribable curiosity.
Gedanoff, the most useful, the most amiable and the best-bred of hangers-on, was there as always.
After old Kapitan came young Kapitan. And in the evening Alexandre, who had been with us during the day as well, brought me Vinogradoff and the money. And Vinogradoff treated us to a champagne feast. It is the custom among merchants; it was rather amusing — the good man pressed everyone to drink, drank himself, and turned red. My uncle asked me a favour, which I did him with pleasure. He needs ten thousand roubles at once; I lent them to him against a receipt in due form. Besides, there is nothing to fear.
I have been to the notary, I saw my father’s man of business — a host of things for the affair you will learn about later.
Today I feel as I did on the day after what I described yesterday. It is as though the scene had happened again. Good impressions are never so lasting. What an atrocious memory! I should like to burn myself up entirely so as to be born again… afterwards… and not feel that horrible touch.
Anyone who read these exclamations, and the others on this subject, without knowing the truth would think: “A pretty business!”
written across the page
A pretty business indeed. There is no need for the slap to be received and to hurt; the gesture alone is enough, and the man who makes it deserves to be killed for it.
We had other visitors, and that is all, I think.
I can hear my father and Paul sleeping in my anteroom… behind a screen.
I want to die. I am disgusted, I am too unhappy.
My God, forgive me.

Notes

The battle of Poltava, in which Peter the Great defeated Charles XII of Sweden, was fought on 27 June 1709 (Old Style; 8 July in the Western calendar), not on 21 June as Marie writes. The bronze column, attributed to the architect Alexander Bryullov, was unveiled on 27 June 1849 on the spot where Peter is said to have rested after the battle; its inscription gives 27 June 1709 (Sumy State University database of Ukrainian monuments, uamonuments.sumdu.edu.ua). ↩