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Wednesday, 13 September 1876 (1 September)
Yesterday at the theatre we made one of those appearances I used to dream of in Nice, in the days when the Comtesse de Galve seemed to me a goddess come down from heaven. First of all I myself, elegant as always, and my four escorts, all four of them perfectly distinguished and in white ties. It is silly, but it does make an impression.Mercredi 13 septembre 1876 (1er sept.)
An impression... on swine! An exit... before nobody! Chocolat holding the opera glasses, the Prince carrying my train — it was all in vain.
De l’effet... devant des cochons ! Une sortie... devant personne ! Chocolat tenant le binocle, le Prince portant la traîne tout a été en vain.
We had supper in my room, and my father took his leave by kissing my shoulder.
Nous avons soupé dans ma chambre et mon père prit congé en me baisant l’épaule.
And today... I no longer know what I did... Ah yes! I went to see Domenica and Lola, and we talked about Rome; for a moment I thought myself on the Corso among the bouquets, among Bog, Antonelli, the one whose hat people wanted to bash in... They asked me what I had done with Pietro.
Et aujourd’hui... je ne sais plus ce que j’ai fait... Ah ! si, je suis allée voir Doménica et Lola, nous avons parlé de Rome; un instant je me crus au Corso au milieu des bouquets, de Bog, d’Antonelli, de celui dont on voulait enfoncer le chapeau... On me demandait ce que j’avais fait de Pietro.
— I refused him.
- Je l’ai refusé.
I went walking with my father, and in the evening we went to the theatre and sat in the left-hand stage box, the same as yesterday. This box is exactly like the one at Poltava, and I had the happiness of seeing Michel in the wings; but Michel, not daring to speak to the actresses, fraternised with the actors. Opposite there was indeed a sort of club box1, and Paul, who had gone there to see an acquaintance, came back and repeated to me what he had heard said about me. But those people do not interest me; they are ugly, and I do not even know their names.
Je me suis promenée avec mon père et le soir nous allâmes au théâtre, dans l’avant-scène gauche, la même qu’hier. Cette loge est exactement comme celle de Poltava, et j’eus le bonheur de voir Michel dans les coulisses, mais Michel n’osant pas parler aux actrices fraternisait avec les acteurs. Il y avait bien en face une sorte de barcaccia, et Paul qui y était allé voir une connaissance revint me répéter ce qu’il y avait entendu dire de moi. Mais ces gens-là ne m’intéressent pas, ils sont laids et je ne sais même par leurs noms.
Michel was breathing behind me, and I was in so senseless a mood that I would gladly have flirted a little... so I divided my attentions between the dandy and the green man. That is what I have named Pacha, because of the youthfulness of his illusions.
Michel respirait derrière moi et j’étais dans une humeur si insensée que volontiers j’aurais fait un peu de coquetterie... aussi je me partageai entre le gommeux et l’homme vert. C’est ainsi que j’ai nommé Pacha à cause de la jeunesse de ses illusions.
The green man — I say it without ceremony, because I am sure of it — the green man looks on me as the finest thing in the world... but he is almost my brother. Yet the shyer he is, the more insolent I am, and Michel spends his life noticing all sorts of things and then pestering the other about them. He brought him by the hand; Pacha had never kissed anyone’s hand except his mother’s, and I ended by making him kiss mine every evening. Michel, only too happy no doubt, did not pass over this trifle in silence, and Pacha grew more submissive and more ashamed day by day.
L’homme vert, je le dis sans cérémonie, parce que j’en suis sûre, l’homme vert me regarde comme tout ce qu’il y a de mieux au monde... mais il est presque mon frère. Mais plus il est timide plus je suis insolente et Michel passe sa vie à remarquer toute sorte de choses et à en ennuyer ensuite l’autre. il l’a amené par la main, Pacha n’avait jamais baisé la main à personne, excepté sa mère, j’ai fini par lui faire baiser la mienne tous les soirs. Michel, trop heureux sans doute, n’a pas passé sous silence cette bagatelle, et Pacha devint de jour en jour plus soumis et plus honteux.
For several days now he has been wanting to leave, and we have kept holding him back, putting off his departure until our journey to Kharkoff. He wants to leave tomorrow, an hour after us. His mother is waiting for him and calling him home.
Depuis plusieurs jours déjà il veut partir et nous l’avons toujours retenu remettant son départ à notre voyage à Kharkoff. Il veut partir demain, une heure après nous. Sa mère l’attend et l’appelle.
Notes
In Italian in the original: barcaccia — literally “big old boat”: the large box near the stage in an Italian-style theatre, usually taken by a club of fashionable young men. ↩