Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Tuesday, 11 January 1876

Mardi, 11 janvier 1876

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It is not his fault, poor innocent body! You are innocent — and you are about to have proof of it.

Ce n'est pas sa faute, pauvre corps innocent ! Tu es innocent et tu vas en avoir la preuve.

Your soul has decamped!1 Listen to this painful account.

Ton ame a decampe ! Ecoute ce penible recit.

On the day after it was brought to us, the Superior wished to give it its customary food — which consists (the learned brother Ardigo furnished us this information) of the playbills of Nice's three theatres and a little rice powder.2 When to that end the Superior opened his wood-box, he found his soul there no more — it had fled the holy precincts!!!

Lorsque le lendemain du jour ou elle nous fut apportee, le superieur voulut lui donner sa nourriture habituelle qui consiste (le savant frere Ardigo nous a donne ce renseignement) en affiches des trois theatres de Nice et en un peu de poudre de riz, lorsqu'a cet effet le superieur ouvrit sa boite a bois, il n'y trouve plus son ame, elle avait fui les saints lieux III!

The Superior had just breakfasted — he stood dumbfounded. The playbills, obtained with such difficulty from the theatre ushers through the agency of Brother Ardigo, and the rice powder that had been requested with all-brotherly care from Maurice Gros, fell from his hands, and a thick cloud came to darken his eyes!

Le superieur venait de dejeuner, il en resta ebahi, les affiches qu'il s'etait procurees avec tant de peine des ouvreuses par l'entremise du frere Ardigo et la poudre de riz qu'il avait ete demandee avec un soin tout fraternel a Maurice Gros lui tomberent des mains et un epais nuage vint obscurcir ces yeux !

Notwithstanding, the holy man did not let himself be vanquished by the situation — he immediately dispatched eight of the most experienced brethren in pursuit of the rebellious substance.

Nonobstant le saint homme ne se laissa pas vaincre par la situation, il envoya de suite huit freres des plus experimentes a la poursuite de la rebelle substance.

For two days now our eight brethren have traversed the new and old town — they even penetrate to his uncle's shop, inquiring of him about the fugitive — but his uncle contents himself with crossing himself from head to foot and spitting at the ceiling while shuddering with horror.

Depuis deux jours deja nos huit freres parcourent la nouvelle et la vieille ville, ils penetrent jusqu' a la boutique de son oncle, meme s'informant aupres de lui de la fugitive, mais son oncle se contente de se signer de la tete aux pieds et de cracher au plafond en frissonnant d'horreur.

Every evening the eight missionary brethren make their report to the Superior; tonight's report has filled us with terror. His soul was seen fluttering along the Avenue de la Gare, not far from the Maison Dorée;3 immediately the eight brethren armed themselves with instruments used for butterfly-catching — but all their efforts were in vain, for the recalcitrant vapour went and mingled with the cigar smoke of M. Milon de Veraillon, who was savouring a cup of coffee at the Maison Dorée.

Tous les soirs les huit freres missionnaires font leur rapport au superieur, le rapport de ce soir nous a rempli de terreur; on a vu son ame voltiger a l'avenue de la Gare non loin de la Maison Doree, immediatement les huit freres s'etaient armes d'instruments usites pour la chasse a papillons, mais tous leurs efforts furent vains, car la recalcitrante vapeur alla se confondre avec la fumee du cigare de M. Milon de Veraillon qui savourait une tasse de cafe a la Maison Doree.

Seek your soul, O unfortunate body! On our side we do all we can — the eight brethren do not lose a minute.

Cherche ton ame o corps infortune ! De notre cote nous faisons notre possible, les huit freres ne perdent pas une minute.

We pray to God and his Holy patron that they may hold his miserable carcass in their holy and worthy keeping. The monks of Cimiez. P.S. Next Sunday we shall send you two brothers who will let you know the results of our searches.

Nous prions Dieu et son Saint patron pour qu'ils aient sa malheureuse carcasse en leur sainte et digne garde.

This letter goes into a fine envelope with this address: Monsieur Émile d'Audiffret, Tour Audiffret.

Cette lettre se met dans une belle enveloppe avec cette adresse: Monsieur Emile d'Audiffret, Tour Audiffret.

And the following one into another envelope addressed: To the Reverend Brother Superior of Cimiez, Convent of Cimiez.

Et celle-la dans une autre enveloppe avec l'adresse suivante: Au reverend frere superieur de Cimiez, couvent de Cimiez.

My Father, I wish to make a gift to the convent — a gift as considerable as my means allow — but I wish it to remain unknown to all. The left hand must not know what the right hand gives.4 To that end, I pray you, Reverend Father, to send me next Sunday at half past ten in the morning two of your brothers, to whom I shall deliver my offering. So that I may know them for who they are, they need only say that they come to speak to me of my soul — and they will be immediately admitted. I need not ask you, Reverend Brother, to burn this letter. E. d'Audiffret

Mon pere,

Do you understand?

Vous comprenez ?

To write this letter I composed a handwriting entirely unrecognizable as mine, and at the same time that of a man. The monk brethren have no reason to disbelieve. I imagine the scene and laugh all day long, while Maman keeps to her bed and Dina nurses her. Maman ill, rainy weather! Were it not for this letter, I should weep.

Pour ecrire cette lettre j'ai compose une ecriture tout a fait meconnaissable et en meme temps celle d'un homme. Les freres moines n'ont aucun motif pour ne pas croire. Je m'imagine la scene et ris toute la journee pendant que maman garde son lit et Dina la soigne. Maman malade, un temps pluvieux ! Si ce n'etait cette lettre, j'en pleurerais.

When the correspondence with the monks is finished, when the soul re-enters the body of the Surprising One, I shall collect all the letters and on this subject compose a poem like Le Lutrin.5

Quand la correspondance avec les moines sera terminee, quand l'ame rentrera dans le corps du Surprenant, je rassemblerai toutes les lettres et je ferai sur ce sujet un poeme comme le Lutrin.

We did not go out, but the painter Katorbinsky came — lessons begin tomorrow. Monseigneur de Falloux, being unable to go out himself, sent us the Chevalier Rossi6 with a quantity of messages and begging Maman to come and see him in two days, when he will be in a fit state to receive; as for going out himself, he does not think of it for another seven or eight days.

Nous ne sommes pas sorties, mais le peintre Katorbinsky est venu, demain commencent les lecons. Monseigneur de Falloux ne pouvant sortir lui-meme nous a envoye le chevalier Rossi nous faisant dire un tas de choses et priant maman de le venir voir dans deux jours, lorsqu'il sera en etat de recevoir, quant a sortir il n'y pense pas avant sept ou huit jours.

I am the one who receives this gentleman, and we talk of Mme de Mouzay and of Monseigneur, who "will place himself at our disposal" as soon as he has recovered. I learn a great deal about the city. I feel quite proud of receiving someone on my own — it seems like a king's first act of will.

C'est moi qui recois ce monsieur et nous parlons de Mme de Mouzay et de Monseigneur, qui "va se mettre a notre disposition" aussitot retabli. J'apprends beaucoup de choses concernant la ville. Je me sens toute fiere de recevoir quelqu'un moi-meme, ca semble le premier acte de volonte d'un roi.

The Russian priest called on us as well. In Rome, I feel a whim coming on for the frock-wearers.7 It is new for me, and I find it pleasing.

Le pretre russe a ete chez nous lui aussi. Dans Rome, je me sens venir un caprice pour les frocards. C'est nouveau pour moi et cela me plait.

I repeated the incantation again8 and saw the Surprising One — he had let his beard grow, and I reproached him for it; then he took some mud, some wet earth, and put it on my dress, and I, taking the same mud, put it on his face. We were quarrelling. I would like to know whether he dreamed of me and whether the incantation acts on both parties.

J'ai encore repete la conjuration et j'ai vu le Surprenant, il s'etait laisse pousser la barbe et je le lui reprochais, alors il prit de la boue, de la terre mouillee, et m'en mit sur la robe, et moi prenant la meme boue je la lui mis sur le visage. Nous nous querellions. Je voudrais savoir s'il a reve de moi et si la conjuration agit sur tous les deux.

Well, I have a painting teacher already — that is something. The Chevalier Rossi also said that for singing there is no one like la Rosali — a lady who teaches very well.

Enfin, j'ai deja un professeur de peinture, c'est quelque chose, aussi le chevalier Rossi a dit que pour le chant il n'y a personne comme la Rosali, une dame qui enseigne tres bien.

This evening I see everything in rosy colours, and I am already thinking of a letter in which it will be said of Audiffret: et eum dicat Surpem, molitissum, improlum, ihonestum, cupidum, luxuriosum, ebriuni.9

Ce soir je vois tout en rose, et je pense deja a une lettre ou il sera dit d'Audiffret: et eum dicat Surpem, molitissum, improlum, ihonestum, cupidum, luxuriosum, ebriuni.

Exactly what Septimius Severus said of Albinus.10

Juste ce que Septime Severe disait d'Albinus.

If only winter would pass more quickly — at Nice I feel better with all my misfortunes; I can despair more at my ease.

Pourvu que l'hiver passe plus vite, a Nice je me sens mieux avec toutes mes infortunes, je desespere plus a mon aise.

Only here is the thing: last spring there was no one — all the best people gathered round us, Prodgers was abandoned, and the others too. Whereas this spring there will again be no one — but Prodgers will have Miss Robenson; they will no doubt stay late, until June, and will make me die of rage, for quite certainly everyone will be with them.

Seulement voila, le printemps dernier il n'y avait personne, c'est autour de nous que se tout ce qu'il y avait de mieux, la Prodgers etait abandonnee, les autres aussi. Tandis que ce printemps il n'y aura encore personne, mais la Prodgers aura Miss Robenson, elles resteront sans doute tard, jusqu'au mois de juin, et me feront crever de rage, car bien certainement c'est avec elles que tout le monde sera.

The Surprising One and all the others. It may also be that the new Englishwomen stay late into spring, and that the gentlemen under the guidance of Tournon and the Surprising One form a kind of court around them — as they did three years ago around Princess Galitzine and Mme Chilowsky, both of whom died a month ago.

Le Surprenant et tous les autres; il se peut aussi que les nouvelles Anglaises restent tard au printemps et que les messieurs sous la conduite de Tournon et du Surprenant leur forment une espece de cour comme il y a trois ans a la princesse Galitzine et a Mme Chilowsky, toutes deux mortes il y a un mois.

These are a great many conjectures — it may also be that on my return to Nice there is no one left, and that the Surprising One has gone to Paris or... to the convent.

Voila bien des conjectures, il se peut aussi qu'a mon retour a Nice il n'y ait plus personne, et que le Surprenant soit a Paris ou .... au couvent.

We shall see what shall be. Sarà quel che sarà.11 It may also be — this being the most disagreeable prospect — it may also be that the Surprising One is married or on the point of being so.

Nous verrons ce qui sera. Sara quel che sara. Il se peut aussi, ca c'est le plus desagreable, il se peut aussi que le Surprenant soit marie ou sur le point de l'etre.

Well, we shall see. In the meantime, let us study, and try to go into society — for it is a pity to keep all my dresses in the wardrobes, or leave them growing mouldy in trunks.

Enfin, nous verrons, en attendant etudions, et tachons d'aller dans le monde, car c'est pitie de garder toutes mes toilettes dans les armoires, ou de les laisser moisir dans les coffres.

Let us pray to God, let us hope, and also let us write letters to Audiffret.

Prions Dieu, esperons, et aussi ecrivons des lettres a Audiffret.

I feel like surrounding myself with crosses, relics, rosaries, and holy images.

J'ai envie de m'entourer de croix, de reliques, de chapelets, d'images.

Notes

"Decamped" — military slang for a sudden departure; Marie applies it with mock solemnity to the soul's flight. ↩
Rice powder was a fashionable 1870s cosmetic used for face powder. Marie mocks Audiffret's vanity by proposing that his soul feeds on theatre playbills and cosmetics. ↩
The Maison Dorée (Golden House) — a famous café-restaurant in Nice, a fashionable gathering place for society. ↩
Matthew 6:3: "But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth." Marie appropriates the scriptural phrase for her prank. ↩
Le Lutrin (1674–1683): Nicolas Boileau's celebrated mock-heroic poem satirizing a dispute among cathedral clergy over the placement of a lectern — a French classic of comic verse. ↩
Chevalier (Italian: cavaliere): a title of knighthood, denoting minor nobility. ↩
Frocards: a mildly contemptuous French slang word for monks and priests, literally "frock-wearers." ↩
A traditional Russian folk incantation performed on the eve of Epiphany and New Year, placing a comb under the pillow while repeating a formula to dream of one's future husband. ↩
A mock-Latin curse modelled on classical invective: roughly, "and let him be called the Surprising One, most soft, improper, dishonest, greedy, dissolute, drunk." LAN notes the Latin is deliberately garbled in the classical manner. ↩
Emperor Septimius Severus (r. 193–211) defeated his rival Clodius Albinus at the Battle of Lugdunum in 197. Marie playfully applies the historical formula of imperial denunciation to Audiffret. ↩
==Sarà quel che sarà== (Italian): "What will be, will be" — the Italian version of Que sera, sera. ↩