Saturday, 13 November 1875

Bravo, Nice! Splendid weather and a crowd of people. Not before time.
And there is my friend — that dear Signor Manara!
crossed outWe barely had the good fortune of his tip of the hat.
Further on, master Audiffret, who bows to us through the trees — then everyone. Manara and my man run into each other and walk together, but when we step out of the carriage they are nowhere to be found.
As there is a crowd of visitors, my white attire produces its effect.
I return sad. Since this morning I have been on edge.
— The least word will make me angry, I said this morning — and I shall make scenes over nothing; so leave me in peace, do not speak to me!
While my family dress for the theatre, I shut myself in my room and weep. They are giving Le Panache — for the first time — the great success of the Palais Royal in Paris.
Léonie knocks.
— What do you want?
— Mademoiselle Dina sends to ask once more whether Mademoiselle will go to the theatre?
— No, no, no, I will not go!
Ah! if anyone thinks I shall go! No — the devil take me if I do! What for? What do I care for the play! I would rather not show myself; that way I shall be more at peace.
All declines are abominable.
If I were a man and a woman resisted me as Audiffret resists me, I would commit every conceivable folly.
But soon I shall be calmed, one way or another — for I am too irritated, too suffering, for such a state to last.
If at least the others had remained faithful!
Godard has not yet paid a call.
Oh! Something to break — give me something to break!

Notes

Le Panache (1875; French title kept — panache is the plume on a helmet, hence dash, swagger): a popular comedy from the Palais Royal theatre in Paris, known for light vaudevilles. ↩