Tuesday, 15 June 1875

I dreamed of a gushing fountain — i.e., a brilliant position, a rapid fortune, an advantageous marriage. If only one could believe in dreams!
We are all gathered in the drawing room when d’Audiffret brings in and introduces his uncle Saëtone. The great lump! How can he be the leader of Nice society?
We do not leave until six, and Girofla takes the seat beside me.
The tip of my nose hurts; nothing shows yet, but the pain puts me in a bad temper. We arrive at Saint-Jean, a very pretty spot, and go round the bay by boat. I chat mostly with Saëtone, and Audiffret seeks me out only half-heartedly, so that I am piqued. We dine badly, and at dinner he again places himself beside me on my left; on my right I have Saëtone.
I like to hear Audiffret talk; in spite of his southern accent his speech is very pleasant.
By moonlight we go out onto the terrace facing the inn. Girofla and I share a philopena, the forfeit to be at the winner’s discretion, and we promise each other the greatest indiscretions in the world. As for me, I know what I would make him do — what I have sworn to make him do: crawl on all fours from our house to the baths, and there jump off the pier fully dressed. I don’t tell him. Of course not!
Our philopena makes everyone laugh, but this time we do not enjoy ourselves as we did the other time.
Little Fiouloulou is missing, and Saëtone takes his place.
On the way back the man is beside me again; but as it was more or less my aunt who put him there, I make everyone change places and end up almost opposite him. It is better so, for I always have the misfortune of believing he may think me smitten with his person.
I sing, and sing well. Saëtone howls; Audiffret does not look cheerful — he sings a little, but half-heartedly; he is not as he was the other time. He plays with Olga, who is as free with him as a child would be. They call each other neither Monsieur nor Mademoiselle, but simply Girofla and Giroflé. It is very sweet to see. There is a great deal of laughter — I laugh too, but not with a full heart.
Collignon irritates me; she spies on my every word and looks spiteful, and when she is there I am intimidated and cross. Deliver me, O Lord, from Collignon!

Notes

A philopena (French philippine) was a popular forfeit game: two people who share a double kernel (nut or almond) each eat one, and whoever first greets the other at their next meeting with the agreed formula (in France, “Bonjour Philippe!” / “Bonjour Philippine!”) wins a forfeit. “À discrétion” means the loser must do whatever the winner demands. ↩
In Latin in the original: Libera me Domine ab Collinionis ! [sic] — a parody of the Libera me, Domine of the Office of the Dead, with Collignon’s name given a (faulty) Latin ending. The “[sic]” is the editors’. ↩