Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Tuesday, 3 June 1884

I go with Dina to the Ecole des Beaux-Arts to see the Gambetta competition entries. We find Emile there — I do not think he will win the prize, and I cannot say whom I would give it to. In truth, all of it has only revived in me the desire to do my Printemps.
And then I paint flowers. A panel for Etincelle.
And then: in place of Prince Orloff it is Baron de Morenheim who is the Russian ambassador. He is married, and on Saturday there is an official reception at the embassy.
Maman and Dina come to ask if I am going to Mme Kessler's. Never — nowhere — unless it is to my embassy.
I have had enough of suffering.
I have had enough. I have had enough. I have had enough.
It will not be long now.
In eighteen months or two years — a white coffin, roses, and these ladies will weep a great deal, a very great deal.
[Cancelled words: one line]