Thursday, 22 June 1882

This townhouse pleased me so much that I was wild about it, and as we had already engaged an apartment I was frantic at not being able to take the house, which seemed to me a kind of complete happiness.
An entire floor to myself with studio and balcony. The ladies on the premier, reception rooms below, a garden... To paint outdoors without going out... In short it was too beautiful — it could not happen. I was prepared to pay five thousand francs cancellation fee to the apartment's landlord. Well, it is done — and without penalty: we can have the house, and here I am quite cooled off... I find it too far, the studio not so large after all, the rent dear, and I am devastated — truly devastated — at leaving the Champs-Élysées. Note that while living there I had but one dream: the Avenue de Villiers and the artistic neighbourhood... And to know artists... Now that part of my dreams is realised — and here I am troubled by the thought that if I win medals I shall owe them to friends; and there is this too: I used to rage because I had no one before whom to show drawings, paintings — let us say the word — my talent was unknown to artists... Now there are artists, but there is no longer anything to show them...
This evening at five o'clock we went to see Bastien's sketches — he is in London — but his brother Émile does the honours. I had brought Brisbane and Lönnstadt, which meant we spent a delightful hour without family, laughing, chatting, making sketches, and all of it so proper, so agreeable. He is an architect but does not look it — resembles his brother, uglier and older-looking though actually younger — and gave us charming watercolours, for I believe he has talent. If I had heard all this of Breslau I should be there lamenting and envying her circle... Well, I have what I wanted — will it give me talent...

Notes

The premier étage, the principal floor above the ground floor, equivalent to the first floor in French usage.