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Sunday, 11 June 1882

Well — Gabriel came to make his farewells, accompanied by his father. Together they are deadly dull.

# Dimanche 11 juin 1882

And Gabriel goes, leaving me with I know not what regrets... of having been a little unkind to him, perhaps not amiable enough with the father... because of his villa... In a word, a small sentimental discomfort...

Et Gabriel s'en va en me laissant je ne sais quels regrets... d'avoir été un peu méchante pour lui, peut-être pas assez aimable avec le père... à cause de sa villa... En un mot un petit malaise sentimental...

I go so far as to imagine that he is in love with me and afraid of appearing to be after my dowry... Besides, Adeline must have told him quite bluntly that it was impossible. So, being very sensible...

Je vais jusqu'à m'imaginer qu'il est amoureux de moi et qu'il a peur d'avoir l'air de rechercher ma dot... Du reste Adeline a dû dire très carrément que c'était impossible. Alors comme il est très raisonnable...

As you see — almost a novel. And it is possible that... The day before yesterday we were alone for five minutes and he told me I could not, after all, prevent him from having a devotion for me. Besides, it never fails; we see each other twice a year, and on the day of departure there is something in my being like tenderness for... I say being, because I do not know whether it is in the heart, in the soul, in the head, or... elsewhere. I make a drawing of our evening: Carolus playing guitar,¹ surrounded by rays of light, women clustering around him.

Comme vous voyez, presque un roman. Et il est possible que... Avant hier nous nous sommes trouvés seuls cinq minutes et il m'a dit que je ne pourrais tout de même pas l'empêcher d'avoir une adoration pour moi... [full paragraph]

And this Carolus... It seems to me I have wounded Gabriel by flirting with the great artist... Gabriel does not think of me at all — he showed no eagerness on arriving, since he did not come to see us until ten days after his arrival... Well, let us drop it.

Et ce Carolus... Il me semble que j'ai blessé Gabriel par ma coquetterie avec le grand artiste... Gabriel ne pense seulement pas à moi, il n'a pas montré d'empressement en arrivant puisqu'il n'est venu chez nous que dix jours après son arrivée... Enfin, laissons cela.

Notes

Marie writes "guitaire" — her characteristic spelling variant for guitare. ↩

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