Sunday, 5 December 1880

I have neither worked nor gone out. Madame de Brimont has come every evening; I have been to Madame Gavini’s, and yesterday, Saturday, we went together to the first night of Jean Beaudry at the Français. In proscenium box B, M. Trebinsky, whom I call “Trèsbien,” was with us. He is a tall, dark man, shy and rather awkward.
The usual first-night crowd, the government, old Mother Adam, etc. Beside us was the Rattazzi with her third husband, one de Rute. She is faded, but one understands that men could have damned themselves for this woman. Veiled eyes one could fall on one’s knees before; as for the smile, the expression of the face — I have never seen anything like it. That expression comes from the sway she knew how to hold. But the bust is in ruins...
Today I dress up. Skirt of faded garnet plush, apron-front of marvellous satin gathered at the waist; Robespierre-style jacket in cloth of the same tone with lapels of plush and satin, white collar and cravat with jabot. Plush hat.
Such feet... my feet always remind me of Randouin and Lahirle getting down on their knees and pretending not to find them because they are so small. We go to Madame de Brimont’s, then to the Gavinis’ and the Moreaus’.
Saint Amand has just left, and we have agreed that he will marry me off to Léon and I will make him Minister of Foreign Affairs.
Dr. Potain came this morning and wants me to go to the south until March.
Without that I shall soon be unable to breathe or move from my bed. Splendid. For four years now I have done everything the celebrities prescribe and I go from bad to worse... I have even gone so far as to lay hands on my beauty — I have daubed my right collarbone with iodine. And it is no better. Could my ordinary troubles perhaps have an influence on my health? Yet the larynx and the bronchi and colds are not generally affected by emotional troubles...
I have no idea; I do what I am told, avoid all imprudence, wash only in hot water now, and am ill all the same.
Villevieille told me yesterday that Tony, who came on Saturday to correct their work, asked to see our competition paintings, and that he found my eyes oddly drawn but said there was good in it, some very pretty things and charming tones. All the same, he is not pleased with the competition in general. If I do not get the medal, I shall still have done a fairly good study.

Notes

Juliette Adam (1836-1936), prominent French writer, salon hostess, and founder of the literary journal La Nouvelle Revue. ↩
Marie-Studholmine Bonaparte-Wyse (1831–1902), known as Mme Rattazzi after her second husband, the Italian statesman Urbano Rattazzi; Luis de Rute was her third husband. ↩