Wednesday, 17 November 1880

Today Roland Bonaparte, son of Prince Pierre, the assassin of Victor Noir, marries Mademoiselle Marie Blanc, daughter of the casino owner of Monaco.
One must read the long-winded articles in all the newspapers.
What disgust!
We went to the Gavinis', who wheedled out of us an invitation to see Michel Strogoff at the Chatelet. Father Denis charges me to make a painting from the photograph of an old portrait of a Monseigneur bishop, his uncle — fine. If it were a matter of getting me a celebrity to do for the Salon, that would be different.
What disgust!
Paul de Cassagnac makes a defense of the assassination of Victor Noir, salutes Mademoiselle Blanc with the name of "brave woman," and attends the wedding in the front row. He who married the daughter of Countess Acard — it is quite simple, but what disgust!
Since I have been on good terms with Amelie and company, we talk and laugh during the model's meal breaks, and well, today, judging me sufficiently intimate and to laugh better, they said horrors... I am not a prude, you know, but by Jove!
What disgust!
Maman writes me that she is leaving for Petersburg to arrange matters, to come here, and asks me for a tender letter to show to the minister.
I have just written it; it begins: Dear and well-beloved Maman. It is accompanied by another letter in which I say: here is my letter to show; I hope it is as nice as Virginie's, etc.
What disgust and what sadness and what a hopeless situation!!
Maman's letter, in which she does not complain and says only a few words, makes me cry because it has a desolate look. The handwriting is as when she is grieved and weeping; I can barely see to write through my tears. [Blacked-out word: Her] handwriting is beginning to resemble Grand-maman's. It is horrible to know she has left, there, all of a sudden, and is detained there by force.
I have fits of mad exasperation.
And to think that in front of everyone, starting with my chambermaid, I am gay as a madwoman — it is not a mask, it is a habit now.

Notes

Prince Pierre Bonaparte shot journalist Victor Noir in 1870, causing a scandal; Francois Blanc founded the Monte Carlo Casino.