Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Thursday, 11 November 1880

Tony came, and as I expressed my discouragement to him, he told me that this proves I am not blind, and he urges me to resume my study, to continue studying.
In short, it always proves that I know more than before, since I see clearly — but what sadness!
How I would need encouragement! I have made myself a brown cloak with a monk's hood for the studio, for when I happen to take a seat near the window, from which comes a hellish draft. So I have a monk's hood — which has always brought me bad luck. I wept beneath this unlucky hood, and so much [blacked-out words: that this Amelie] Zillhardt, who had come to see if it was not a joke, was quite amazed. I want to make a painting depicting an expulsion of monks. So I went to the Capuchins of the rue de la Sante, and the three fathers who remain told me about and showed me the scene of the disaster; I came to offer hospitality to two fathers in Nice. I hope they will not take advantage of the offer.

Notes

A reference to the March 1880 decrees under which religious orders were expelled from France. ↩