Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Saturday, 5 June 1880

"Marry or go away," and I reply:
"Two cruel extremities."
In short, it is agreed; he came to fetch the paper.
As for visitors: Mme Gavini, Berthe, Antoine, d'Alt, Turquan, and Casimir, and Saint-Amand.
These last two accompany us to the circus. Eve of the Grand Prix, a stunning performance. Our Empress has died; consequently we are in mourning. Casimir is beside me. An immense crowd of men invades the arena to better see Oceana on her tightrope...
A beautiful girl, very beautiful — the lower legs a bit thick, the elbows a bit angular, and too much bosom. But that escapes non-artists.
"When one has the perfect lover's manual in one's pocket," said Casimir, "one does not concern oneself with all that. And to think all these people are here for Oceana — but that is quite indifferent to us..."
"Speak for yourself."
"I speak for myself."
I teased him with Saint-Marceaux, who had just greeted me and was seated not far away.
"Well, he is nice, and then what will you do with Saint-Marceaux?"
"But I don't know — do not think he is a vile artist; he is a man of the world, and he has immense talent."
In short, I believe Casimir is content with his situation. He feared being dismissed like a dog. At the exit we meet the Gavinis again, whom we accompany a little way, Father Gavini giving me his arm... and there comes a cruel word... "In your situation," he said to me confidentially (we were talking of Casimir), "I advise you to marry him, truly. He is certainly not very handsome, but he is nice, and then..."
As for beauty, these people say Las Cases and Multedo are handsome. Las Cases is thirty-seven, black as a crow, burnt complexion, black side-whiskers; medium height or below. He received a kick from a horse on his forehead, which left a scar. Las Cases is not bad — he is fine, but he must be vicious, and then those thirty-seven years... I am like an old woman: I greatly appreciate youth.
That performance was truly beautiful... As for the crowd, as for... I know not what, it had something tremendous that made me think of ancient circuses.
Saint-Amand and Casimir come in for wine and cakes at our house, and Casimir finds a way to whisper in my ear that he loves me.