Tuesday, 23 December 1879

Well, there it is.
I am almost smitten with Alexis. You understand that is quite something! In my old age I am becoming too silly. We went skating on the Seine at the Vert Galant (a skating rink where they have frozen the water), had punch, then went into old mother Moreau's for plums and cherries in brandy. Like students. Returned on the upper deck of a tramway. Julian was at our house, Berthe comes back accompanied by Alexis, we go to number 37, then I dine at the Princess's, we drink champagne and it rather sets us off. There is only the Princess, her children, little Muller, and myself. I am as provocative as can be while taking care to remain calm because of the mother, and the little one lets himself be caught all the same.
What do you expect him to do? All this bores and amuses me, and while Bojidar sings romances accompanied by his governess Adele, while the Princess chatters with Muller, I go stretch out on the chaise longue in her room and Alexis comes to sit at my side. You can picture it from here, that dazed look, a cigar, myself with a cigarette, and he telling me of his chaste and pure loves, playing the man, even showing me a photograph, and to throw me off the scent talking of someone other than Mlle de Sampieri. I am maternal, I play the confidante and take him as my confidant. In short, he will have nothing from me, while England... it is quite simple but it is tantalizing after all... I confess to him that I love Joseph. He speaks of Murcie and promises to make up for it, and so laughing I take on the manner of little Paul and say that had he been otherwise I would not have gone there with him.
Finally he sees me home and slips in that if Murcie were to happen again he would have an infatuation for me... I know that will not be; there is Berthe who will easily get the better of all these follies with that idea Blanc put in his head. I do not care, I make it plain and I am very aggressive all the same. Besides, I keep to the maternal tone; it gives me room to maneuver. If I were asked whom I would rather kiss, Joseph or this little one, I think I would rather the little one... at the present moment.

Notes

In English in the original.