Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Monday, 4 March 1878

...extraordinary, which must have increased the exasperation of M. the lieutenant-colonel accused, appears to us also a reason to recommend him to your indulgence."
Needless to say, the lieutenant-colonel was acquitted by a unanimous vote.
A rather curious detail: it is this same Colonel Talandier who, some months later, arrested Prince Louis-Napoleon in the Strasbourg affair.
Such are the facts to which M. de Cassagnac alluded.
We do not well understand the contradictions that arose on this subject within the ranks of the left — and particularly on the part of M. Albert Joly, who claimed to have proof contrary to what M. de Cassagnac asserted.
The fact in question was raised by the republicans themselves at the elections of 1868, at the time when M. Gent was, in the Paris arrondissement, the rival of M. Emmanuel Arago.
As for any proof to the contrary, should anyone be able to produce it, we will record it with alacrity."
As for the horrible accusation against M. Gent — one must truly be possessed to go unearthing such horrors — but I rather like this malice; I would have done the same to destroy an enemy.
###### Marcuard writes to me.
* Florence, [Thursday] 28 Feb[ruary] 1878. Dear Mademoiselle,
Your kind letter of Saturday has just reached me. I thank you for it a thousand times. As I had the honor of telling you, carnival is nothing — no processions, no balls, nothing. Moreover it is over, and next week we enter Lent. The races will take place here and in Naples, as last year. And should that help you decide, we shall be delighted to have you. Melissano is here. I have not seen him for several days — he is indisposed — and I have had relatives here who have taken all my time in showing them the galleries and entertainments of Florence.
How can you think of Mlle Alexandrine for me? I find her very charming but I have paid her no court whatsoever. M. des Perrières is a gossipmonger. You have already seen, by my way of speaking of him, that I placed no faith in his words. The weather has been fine until now; today it is beginning to turn.
Alexandre is here — he talks always of marrying, of settling down. Does that not tempt you?
Give my warmest regards to the young harpist of my heart. I shall go today to Melissano and ask whether he returns to Naples, since you set store by his presence. I suspect him of being in poor — very poor — circumstances, but I never speak of such things with him. There are some evenings; tonight a ball at the Skating, but there is very little
^7^ ibid. pp. 199-200
...animation — yet do not let that prevent you from coming; a holiday will do you good. You are tiring yourself too much; you have embraced your art with too violent a passion and ardor. You will renew yourself in the Italian climate; you will draw new strength, or new ideas, from the contemplation of the masterworks you will now see from a different vantage than before.
Write to tell me what you decide — I am not leaving Florence.
I repeat that all that may be agreeable to you will be placed
at your feet.
I await your news and remain always your most devoted and obedient.
F. de Marcuard
Mme Van Schaick, who lived on the first floor of your house on the Champs-Elysées, is here for a few days. The rumor had circulated of your grandfather's death — I contradicted it and hope he continues to improve. A thousand kind regards to your family.
There are people like that wretched deputy who have everything, and others who are like me.
Since Saturday my dog is lost. I kept hoping he would come back.
Not one of those wretched creatures who make up my so-called family has done anything; they have confined themselves to continuing their so very stupid petty torments!!
Yesterday that dreadful man came again. I made a scene to my mothers, and they — instead of supporting me, instead of doing their duty as decent women — turned against me, full of idiotic recriminations, stupidities, and revolting injustice. I am treated as a moral monster, a criminal, God knows what — because I revolt against the horrors, the infamies, the filth with which this man covers us. Good God! For a moment I was ready to flee the house.
I would have deposited my papers with Cassagnac and gone to live anywhere. But unfortunately the diamond on which I could count was at my mother's. The vile creatures! The cowards! The criminals!
No — it is not possible; they have lost their reason; otherwise it is inconceivable.
My poor dog — if I had any room left for any feeling, I would be devastated. There is a ball at the Elysée this evening.
My poor lost dog.
If I were to die for all that I lack, for all that I do not have...
What a household! What a family — what a life!
Berthe and Yorke — who treat us as entirely their friends — came around six o'clock to ask for a cup of tea.
They are kind and charming, and as friendly as women can be — you know that women's friendship is an entirely chimerical thing. But I detest them deeply, and more and more so, for the unmasking incident at Paul de Cassagnac's.
It is a disagreeable position — to despise all those around you, when those around you are either wretches or madwomen.
Now I believe I am a misunderstood being!
That is the height of stupidity — for it is the most abominable thing one can think of oneself. A hundred thousand pretensions of which none is justified. One bumps into everything and gives oneself bruises.
[Words blacked out: I have given] Rosalie my brown dressing gown, which brought me bad luck — or which at least served as the shelter under which all my tears of rage have been shed these two years.