Monday, 28 May 1877

I went to Monaco to win twenty thousand francs. We were quite a family party; I played on the sly, others played for me, but you will understand that it was not real play. After an hour we were completely cleaned out, and I saw all those poor women wandering about in search, seeking whom they might devour... oh! nothing much, ten louis or so. I was walking about with Lise; Maman had the joy of being complimented on her daughter by all the croupiers, table supervisors, secretaries, etc. etc., who had known me as a little girl at Baden and at Nice. Many of the employees from Baden have gone over to M. Blanc.
I have come back terribly tired, with forty francs, plus twenty francs owed me by Laurenti, who was there. Tichkevitch, who has not left yet, came back and had supper with us. They teased me just a little about the twenty thousand francs; the fact is, I had even taken a large pocket-book with me, and I might perhaps have won had I played seriously. Oh, but I was amusing myself playing the little girl; it was for the sake of... decency.
We are busy marrying Nemekoff to Collignon. Nemekoff, if you remember, is an old friend of poor Yourkoff; moreover, Nemekoff is so ill that he can barely walk, but they say he has some fortune. He wishes to marry a good soul who will take care of his... wretched carcass... well, one would think I was speaking of Emile; anyway... and Collignon wishes to settle down.
I am glad that tonight I can think of Alexandre with love; while playing I pictured his face on the evening he dined at the table d’hôte, after the explanation, and... in vain I try to describe it; I only know that I am intoxicated by it, and I love to be so.

Notes

In Latin in the original: quaerens quem devorat (devoret in the Vulgate, 1 Peter 5:8). ↩
In French in the original: chefs de partie — the croupiers in charge of a gaming table. ↩