Thursday, 28 December 1876

My father leaves this morning — I make no complaint; it was agreed in advance that if the fancy took me to stay more than two days I should remain with Maman.
I see him off to the station, the pedant!
We go out to the promenade in search of Antonelli — in vain.
Then to the rink, then the Pincio, then Simonetti.
I am sad and dressed in brown.
crossed outat dinner we — it came about that
Some English ladies whom I used to see often with Frederic are dining at the same table as us — we fall into conversation; it is a Lady Cartier with two very faded daughters. They tell me that I interested everyone last winter, that Frederic (Mr Oliver) called me la dame blanche. That this same Frederic came from Vienna to Rome on horseback — he is quite an original. That the Duchess Laute spoke of me a great deal to them, on the strength of Clemente Torlonia’s favourable reports. Clemente speaking well of someone? I should be mightily flattered if I believed it.
That wretched rogue has shaved his beard, and when he bowed this morning I could scarcely recognise him. Scoundrel, wretch!
I feel genuine joy at the thought that people love me and speak well of me in public.
Katorbinsky tells me that all summer long he saw Pietro at the Teatro Corca — a wretched music-hall set up in the Mausoleum of Augustus!! He saw him there with a brunette and a blonde, one on each arm, drinking beer. Ugh! I am making enquiries about the Carnival.
You now? Shame and pity on you.
Nevertheless I am calmer, for I am more reassured about the city’s gossip.
Simonetti and Plowden have called.
Someone, please. Someone, if you please, for... I suffer to see you debased, but I love you no more
My debased plaything!

Notes

La dame blanche — “the white lady”; Marie’s nickname from Frederic (Mr Oliver), kept in French as a name. ↩
In Italian in the original: birra. ↩
In Italian in the original: Voi a gnor ? Vergogna e pietà di voi. ↩
In Italian in the original: soffro di veder vi avilito ma non n’amo più. ↩