Saturday, 20 November 1875

Robenson has arrived in Nice! That is what I hear on waking.
"We were at the concert," Maman writes, "and we saw Audiffret, who bowed very low. Then we encountered Mlle Robenson — only I did not see whether they bowed to each other or spoke."
It is like a thunderbolt. Immediately, instead of getting up, I settle myself in bed and begin a series of lamentations — half serious, half comic.
"I am done for, done for, done for!" I kept saying. Then: "Oh! the horrid creature — she is all angular, thin, ugly. No — tell me whether it is possible to prefer an American as pointed as she is to a woman like me!" And every time I spoke in earnest my aunt was alarmed, and every time I laughed she laughed.
Everything is in upheaval for three hours — but all those flames are extinguished by a business meeting with Duval. With pride and with anxiety I become more and more convinced that I am the strong head of the household. I believe that this time all the difficulties have been smoothed over, provided no one ruins the business in my absence.
At Laferrière's, a new thunderbolt. Mlle Bueno! For a full minute I was breathless.
"What is the matter with you, being so sad, M. Audiffret?" Marie was saying at Antonoff's. "Cheer up — Mlle Robenson will be here, Mlle Bueno will be here!"
Indeed yes — here they all come.
"But why do you comfort me?" the man was saying. "I know those ladies — but what are they to me?"
Mlle Robenson will be here, Mlle Bueno will be here, Mlle Bashkirtseff will be here — my God, yes, they are all coming, these young ladies, with their plans of conquest all drawn up. Not I, however. I am done for!
"Do you know what is most vexing in all of this?" I asked my aunt. "Well, it is that this man drags everyone else along behind him — so that wherever he goes, everyone goes."
And it is true. Lucky Robenson!
"In short, Madame," I was saying for the hundredth time today, "I am outraged. He has made a fool of me. He will get what he deserves!"
"But he has not made a fool of you! Listen — it is simply this: he thought that you, a young girl who has never seen anyone, would allow yourself to be caught. He was hoping for either an extraordinary love or a few kisses — but when he saw that you had seen through him, he withdrew. That is all."
"That is all! How charming of you! And that is not called making a fool of me! Oh! Oh! Oh!"
All day long I exclaim in this fashion and declare that it is shameful, vexing, abominable!
Oh! but I have thought of it — it is from Lucie Durand that the news of my marriage with the Surprising One originates. No doubt Lucie told Bueno, which is why she did not so much as look at me today — she who used to look at me so much before. No, truly, all of this is too comical!
The Surprising One is about to be torn to pieces like Orpheus.
I still cannot get over it — I, a grown-up young lady; I, courted by the Don Juan of Nice; I, face to face with Gioia, with Robenson, and so on and so forth — I laugh at it, upon my word of honour! I feel quite small still.
People talk about me, people occupy themselves with me, I am a personage — it is surprising!
We are going to the Gymnase to see Ferréol. No doubt it will give me romantic ideas, as Frou-Frou did.
I am burning to return to Nice, and yet I must stay here a while longer for Duval. I would give goodness knows what to become properly acquainted with the Pointed American — I should like her to become my friend, I should like to go about with her everywhere, I should like her, in short, to replace Olga.
God! How I should like it. The cards promise me as much. I believe them again — for in reality they have always told me the truth, except the other evening when I forced them.
Ferréol did not give me romantic ideas. It is admirably performed. We could only obtain a stage box, which did not allow us to see the audience during the intervals — but in return we could see the actresses and actors, the marchionesses and the chambermaids sitting on the same sofa, chattering about all manner of things. It was most interesting.