Wednesday, 14 July 1875

The house is so empty; I am so terribly bored.^1^ I find consolation only in seeing Audiffret, and while I do not see him I am in the deepest sadness.

^1^ Footnote in manuscript; content not recorded.
Yesterday we spoke of Latin, the lycée, the examinations. This gives me a furious desire to study, and when Brunet comes I make him wait for nothing and ask him for details about the examinations. He gives me such information that after a year of preparation I feel capable of presenting myself for the baccalauréat ès sciences. We discuss it with Brunet. What a pity that I must leave Nice. What foolishness not to have thought of it seriously a year ago — I could have sat the examination now!
Well, I shall prepare myself in spite of everything — I can do so at Florence and come back to Nice to sit the examination.
Since February of this year I have been studying Latin; it is now July. In five months I have done, according to Brunet, what they do at the lycée in three years. It is prodigious.
I shall never forgive myself for having wasted this year! It will be an immense grief to me — I shall never forget it!
No Audiffret and I am bored. This detestable creature does not come to the baths, and we see him at the Café de la Victoire.
It is unworthy! I doubt everything.
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