Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Saturday, 5 June 1875

It is raining. Girofla was supposed to come — but in his place we see Caligula, who comes to us to find Audiffret, as he says.
I think and arrive at nothing. Audiffret does not court me at all — he barely distinguishes me from the others. Why did he seek our acquaintance? It is not for my mother, nor for my aunt, nor for our family name. Ah! would to heaven it were for our family name — but no, I shall never have that satisfaction.
Well — why then? Maman believes and says he is in love with me. But one knows I need a great deal to believe it. He did not seek an introduction for the pleasure of calling on us. There is no particular charm at our house, no particular pleasure. One is often even very badly received.
If it is for me — and I am willingly inclined towards this idea — he conceals it very adroitly; and apart from a few details I have noticed in his conversation, through which one can see that he had been paying attention to us and knew and had remarked what we were doing, he lets nothing appear.