Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Sunday, 16 August 1874

At half past one Basilevitch with Doenhoff and Basilewsky, Princess Souvoroff's brother, were to come to our house so we could all go to the races together. But Maman mistakes the time and we leave at one o'clock with the Tamancheffs, on foot. The distance is not long but the sand is dreadful! After some ten minutes of walking I begin to murmur like the Israelites in the desert; these murmurs soon change to lamentations, then to tears!
On foot, to the races, with peasants, through sand, on foot, to the races! I kept saying -- or sighing -- the whole time, through my tears.
But when we reached the ticket office it was worse: this charming family takes one-franc places behind the rope! At first I do not understand; then I am beside myself, I weep, etc. etc. etc.
Maman, Dina and I go to the best grandstand (grey dress -- good). Within ten minutes Doenhoff comes and stays with us. He has long been enamoured of Maman, they say, and in the evening at the theatre, he says, he was looking for the mother but could only see the young ladies.
Basilevitch says that the daughter pleases him too, but one cannot compare her with the mother.
She arrives, and Maman, she and Doenhoff form a seaside small-talk conversation! Dina and I watch the races and the crowd. We return on foot, all together.
I forgot to mention that Merjeewsky arrived yesterday and is at the races today. Basilevitch is chasing after him -- she is alone at the moment.
At a chosen moment I shall [Crossed out: tell him] forbid him from paying court to that lady; he has no desire to himself, I think. But still.
I was walking with Dina and this young pig -- no, he is not worthy of so fine a name -- this young slug, when Paul comes to fetch me: Maman, Basilevitch, Doenhoff and Basilewsky have found an omnibus.
"But Mademoiselle, surely it is better to walk -- but where are you going?"
"No, I prefer this."
I take a few steps with Paul, then turning back:
"I am leaving because you do not court me."
"But Mademoiselle, what must I do?" he said, taken aback.
I leave, with him standing there open-mouthed.
I dine at home with Maman, Paul, Basilevitch and Basilewsky.
Afterwards we go upstairs to smoke and take coffee.
Le soir, au Casino, les salons sont beaux mais le monde est sale, il y a foule immense, Basilévitch est avec nous. Elle m'a dit que le comte est amoureux de moi. J'étais très étonnée, il le cache assez bien ce me semble. Elle en est fâchée. Je lui dis que ce n'est pas vrai. Au Casino elle m'a demandé s'il me plaît : In the evening, at the Casino: the rooms are handsome but the crowd is vulgar; the throng is immense. Basilevitch is with us. She told me the count is in love with me. I was very surprised; he hides it well enough, it seems to me. She is vexed by it. I tell her it is not true. At the Casino she asked me whether he pleases me:
"No, no one pleases me. You are so discreet, you will not speak of it."
"On the contrary, I always talk."
She is a stupid yet cunning woman.
Doenhoff comes and stands behind Maman's chair; we are seated against the orchestra so that he is hemmed in. Basilevitch [Crossed out: is] envies Maman. That creature! She has no escort, and Maman, the quiet woman, has one.
Misery of miseries!
Human envies!
The count comes, bows and flees. I thought he was going to fetch flowers, but he did not return. We leave at eleven. Basilevitch went three times to see Princess Merjeewsky at the other end of the hall.