Friday, 19 December 1873

I rode on horseback with Dina and the Howards -- with the Howards by chance; I do not wish to ride with them any more, it is awkward. I skip my English dictation to watch Maman and my aunt dress; they are going to a grand dinner at Mme Howard's. Helene alone will dine; the other children in the small room.
The two Strikers dine with us, and for them I put on a white kerchief and my rose-leaf ornament, which I bought the day before yesterday. They are charming -- only American. I do not much like these vulgar manners, and my idiot brother offered them cigarettes, so they smoked, which I detest in a drawing room. With close friends it is another matter, but two big boys -- fie! I was very amiable, and also a little American; we have a proverb: Live with wolves, howl with wolves -- which I do not entirely approve. The young Striker made sweet eyes at me, and I wanted so much to laugh! These little boys!
I laughed the whole time; I am more changeable than the weather. Morning, fair; afternoon, storm; evening, rain and fair again.
Solominka, who is at our house every day, is very improper with M. Tormosoff; they do not restrain themselves at all. Striker taught me "Shoo! fly, don't bother me" etc. How vulgar Americans are!

^[In English in the original.]
The elder Striker has rose lips, which would be better placed on a woman, but he is a little one all the same. In my view one is not a perfect man before twenty-five; all men are amusing, and the more there are the better. Without men, it is death.
When I think that there are happy people, I am astonished; it is so hard and so easy to be happy. I should be curious to see her. She, that fortunate woman who is the wife of that... well, the Duchess of Hamilton, for she is already the Duchess of Hamilton -- how stupid I am.