Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Monday, 3 November 1873

We took tea this morning for the first time with Miss Hitchcock; she is rather nice, and I am beginning to get used to her. I have resumed my usual course of lessons; Maman's illness and Hitchcock's arrival had somewhat interrupted them. The weather is dreadful! Such rain! I receive letters, one from Helene, the other from Lise. They are in Paris and arrive in Nice today or tomorrow. Paul, Hitchcock, and I go to meet them at three o'clock (waterproof, black hat, good). The train arrives; I examine the faces in the carriages, but no one. I was almost sure they would not arrive today. We go home; the promenade is disagreeable in such rain. What grieves me at this moment is Paul -- he does nothing, spends his time at Khalkionoff's, picks up all his manners. That boy drives me out of my mind! I cannot conceive that a strapping lad of fourteen does not understand he must work.
We made Peace with Papa; he was entering the salon and I was at the piano. I said good morning to him with a kiss. I am good at heart, whatever they may say. That Collignon woman met the Howards at the station with her brother, and will perhaps come to Nice. That scoundrel! I hope she will not come. It would be most unfortunate -- she will dazzle the poor old man, who will leave nine children with nothing.
God preserve us from that.
I had my first lesson with Hitchcock; it is not going badly.
Maman is better, but Paul makes her miserable, as he does me. My God, deign to inspire him with a little wisdom.
He will be drowned in bad company.
Last night I slept on the floor. I was already asleep when it seemed to me that the curtain with its trimming was about to fall; I thought I heard a cracking sound. Without thinking further, I take the mattress, the pillow, I set it all on the carpet and go on sleeping peacefully. In the morning I had not the courage to get up; I open my eyes, I want to rise, I put out one hand -- but it is so cold and the bed is so warm, and so on. I leapt up with a start at ten minutes to eight; at eight I had a lesson. How I love my bed, in the evening and in the morning.