Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Thursday, 14 August 1873

From the morning, we are packing. I packed my own bag, and the rest does not concern me in the least. But here is an unpleasantness: I am unwell today — generally for three or four hours during this disagreeable visitation I am ill, sometimes very. When we went down to luncheon, I could eat nothing, and in a few minutes I go back upstairs, undress, and lie down. I am very indisposed. My aunt is in a terrible fright. She follows me up:
"It is cholera!"
I tell her what is the matter, but nothing can reassure her. How she loves me! I had a short nap and two hours in bed. Then I am perfectly well. I dress, and we go straight to eat at the Provencaux. I obtained a lobster bisque from my aunt. After dinner, to the Exposition. Towards half past six we came out, but it is pouring rain. I took an umbrella from a shopkeeper and well or badly we reached the covered promenade, where we waited half an hour for the carriage; to the Circus Renz. We arrived too early; I was beginning to regret having gone, but I was rewarded. The horses are numerous and beautiful. The men ride very well; the women are worthless. There was a pantomime, Cinderella. Many historical personages appear in it (at the ball): Bismarck, Moltke, Napoleon I, Thiers, Mac-Mahon — the Shah is admirable. And they dared to bring on Alexander; I am indignant — not for the sake of Mr Romanoff, but for Russia. They did not dare to represent Victoria, Wilhelm, Victor Emmanuel. They placed the Russian between the Shah and the Chinese Emperor, in a cart drawn by a nag, with a caricature of a coachman. All of this is played by children; Moltke is four years old, John Bull perhaps five. At the end, lions — a Black man entered their cage. Dina was frightened. Half the women left. It amused me greatly. The Duchess of Saxony, not far from us. She is very fine in profile, but from the front she has a flabby face. She gets tipsy. I like that sort of face, very much. That nose, turned up at the tip, pleases me.
At home, we had tea; I have resolved to follow the courses at the lycee in Nice — I shall have nine and a half hours a day in all. I want to work like an ox. I do not want to be inferior to my husband and my children. Women must receive the same education as men!!! I want to work, with the help of God.
They brought the dresses from Spitzer's. Dina's, very, very pretty and quite ladylike. My own's quite ugly, not at all like the model. I wonder what dress shall I find at Paris. If Dina had not this dress. I would have the same, made for me. But I don't [sic] like to wear a livery.
I never throught [sic] so much of him as now.
[In the margin: On account of my indisposition we leave on Saturday; tomorrow, Friday, is an unlucky day.]

Notes

In English in the original. ↩
In English in the original. ↩