Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Tuesday, 22 July 1873

I sat for the portrait — it is a pretty head, but it is not me. I am dismayed; I had been counting on having something pretty. This morning I read that book again. Maman opened the door. I thought she would come in and I would be caught, but no — she asked me the time. So as not to be discovered, I put the book in the drawer and read in such a way as to be able at every moment to pretend I am searching for something. Despite these precautions, I was very afraid, and red, and anxious.

J'ai pose, le portrait est une jolie tete mais ca n'est pas moi. Je suis desolee, je comptais avoir quelque chose de joli. Ce matin j'ai encore lu ce livre. Maman ouvrit la porte. Je croyais qu'elle entrerait et je serais surprise, mais non, elle me demanda l'heure. Pour ne pas etre attrapee, je mets le livre dans le tiroir et je lis pour pouvoir a chaque minute feindre de chercher quelque chose. Malgre ces precautions, j'avais tres peur et j'etais rouge, et inquiete.

What a pity to have only the second volume of Les courtisanes du monde. There are four divisions, each in four volumes: Les courtisanes, Les grandes dames, Les Parisiennes. [Crossed out: Les femmes dechues]

Quel dommage de n'avoir que le deuxieme volume des "Courtisanes du monde". Il y a quatre divisions, chacune en quatre volumes: "Les courtisanes", "Les grandes dames", "Les Parisiennes". [Raye: Les femmes dechues]

It is a little explicit, but very well written. In the afternoon I finished it. My curiosity is awakened; in this volume they speak of preceding events, and I have not read them.

C'est un peu nu, mais tres bien ecrit. L'apres-midi je l'ai fini. La curiosite est eveillee en moi, dans ce volume on parle des evenements precedents, et je ne les ai pas lus.

In the evening, the Princess and I went for a turn on the Promenade. While waiting for Dina, we spoke of Baden, of the society of Mme Paskevitch, Carlos Hamilton and the old maid. There I was at my ease — I could give myself over to my greatest pleasure: speaking of him. She asked me whether Lord Hamilton is handsome — tall, dark, a regular broomstick, but good-looking.

Le soir, moi et la princesse allames faire un tour a la promenade, en attendant Dina, nous avons parle de Bade, de la societe de Mme Paskevitch, Carlos Hamilton et la vieille fille. La, j'etais au large, je pouvais m'adonner a mon plaisir le plus grand: parler de lui. Elle m'a demande si lord Hamilton est beau, grand, brun et pur manche a balai, mais bien.

— Does he resemble the Duke?

-- Est-ce qu'il ressemble au duc ?

— No? That is good, for this one has an ignoble face. The fool!

-- Non ? c'est bien car celui-ci a une figure ignoble. La folle !

— What! On the contrary, the one here is better-looking.

-- Comment, au contraire celui qui est ici est mieux.

— The red one — the one with the reddish face?

-- Le rouge, qui a la figure rougeatre ?

— But yes.

-- Mais oui.

— Gioia's?

-- Celui de Gioia ?

— But yes — he is much more handsome.

-- Mais oui, il est bien plus beau.

She likes them thin and dark. I forgive her.

Elle aime les maigres et les bruns, je pardonne.

[In the margin: Maman, my aunt, Walitsky, and Paul at Monaco.]

[Dans la marge: Maman, ma tante, Walitsky et Paul a Monaco.]